The type of messages she gets are so much worse than mine. And you've seen mine. You know they can get pretty bad.
But the best example of this is this guy's messages to us.
Here are his most recent messages to me (there were earlier messages along the same lines that I had deleted before):
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| He previously only had a torso as his picture, and now he has a face! |
"hey u dtf?"
"You dtf?"
My coworker is a bigger girl.
She has received a loooot of messages basically with that same message. The assumption seems to be that because she isn't skinny, she must be absolutely desperate for any attention and will just bang anyone who messages her.
Which is ridiculous, obviously.
There is a pattern of complete disrespect to her on a completely different level than I received, and while I knew that it can be pretty bad, I didn't realize quite how bad until I saw how differently the same person messages her compared to me.
And I don't think there is anything I can really do, other than point out dick behaviour when I see it and not be a dick myself, but I am kind of angry on her behalf, even though she seems to have just taken it as par for the course.
Why do people gotta be so terrible?
I doubt even on Tinder (which seems more of a hook-up thing than a dating thing) people would respond kindly to a "dtf" question with no prior chat.
ReplyDeleteSome people, and I hate to generalise - but most often men - really don't seem to know how to act on online dating sites. I highly doubt they ever get any (positive) responses. Wouldn't surprise me if they'd be the same people who sit and whine in other places about how "picky girls are" etc.
And that whole thing with overweight women being expected to be grateful for any attention just really grinds my gear. It's in a lot of tv-shows and movies as well, as if it's some universal truth.
I wish we could just look as everyone as people, without judging them by their looks - but I suspect that is too much to ask for in today's society. (Not that it was necessarily different before - just different standards.)
I agree, a lot of men seem to have no idea how to use the sites for their intended purpose. They seem to think that a picture is the be all and end all of a profile, their own included, and don't bother to fill in any details.
DeleteYou don't have to write an essay, guys, but this isn't a public place where we can base things on physical chemistry. We need an idea of whether we will have anything in common. I am not going to be interested in someone with zero similar interests, so put a little more in your profile than nothing...
And I agree. It would be nice if the world didn't base things on appearance, and I say that as someone who (objectively speaking) benefits from that (because I also have to deal with the stereotype of being stupid, since I am a small blonde woman).
Absolutely, completely unrelated btw... I think I have met your British doppelganger. She too was a small, blonde woman and reminded me of Beth from Walking Dead... which I think would mean she also looks a bit like you *lol*
DeleteIt's like they said in How I Met Your Mother - everyone has a doppelganger! :D
It's true! I've seen a couple of people who've made me think of online or distant friends, and it's always kind of weird but neat to think random genetics somewhere far away can make someone so similar looking.
DeleteAlthough my great-grandmother's family was from England a few generations earlier (oh my goodness, they moved to the US in the 1600s?? They were there for the Salem Witch Trials), so maybe she was a really, REALLY distant relative. :P