Lacks Creativity

And the loveliest of them all was the unicorn

2012-02-06T18:34:00.000-08:00

I was reading a post about an article that said the e-readers were great because people could put books they'd otherwise be embarrassed to be seen reading on them. Books like sci fi or romance. The author of the piece refers to genre fiction as "dross."

Which is like... incredibly offensive to anyone who reads or writes genre. I want to know who decided that only "literature" has any sort of merit. Why are pretentious writing, death, and sadness considered the mark of a worthy novel? Thinking about every fantasy, romance, mystery, sci fi, horror novel I've ever read in my life, the common theme of all of those is: happy ending.

Happy ending doesn't necessarily mean "happy ever after," of course. Often it's just "happy for now." Not everyone always lives to the end. But the Bad Guy was caught or defeated. The Ring was destroyed and Middle Earth can start rebuilding.

Oh, wait, I forgot - in spite of being a fantasy novel to the core, Tolkien is literature because... a lot of book critics like it? It's old?

It seems like with book snobs there is this arbitrary line they have drawn in the sand. On one side, books they think make them look smart and well-read. On the other side... GENRE. Yuck. Oh, you mean this novelist classifies herself as a romance novelist? But her books are BETTER than romance, so she's not just a romance writer! (Oh, yes, I've seen that. Hilarious.)

It's such a load of bullshit. I'm not embarrassed by anything I read, because what I read are good books. They have storylines I enjoy. They have protagonists I want to succeed. They show, and don't tell. They don't think using stilted, wordy paragraphs dripping with ennui make a novel more worthy of praise than a damn good story.

I admit, however, I'm not embarrassed by a lot of things. Buying typically "embarrassing" products at the grocery or the drug store doesn't faze me. I can maintain eye contact while the clerk is ringing up my condoms and birth control pills. Hey, I'm being responsible. Why should I be embarrassed? Because some people are prudes? Nah.

Don't worry, guys, I got my cake!

So why don't I flaunt my romance novel reading ways if I think those books are so great? Well, as the post said, look at the covers!

Ignore the towel on the floor...

And that is tame compared to most of them, which feature wind machines and mantitty. Without ever having read the books in question, people will judge you based on the covers alone. Even after years of being told to never judge a book by its cover, people still do.

Not only do they judge the book, they judge the person reading it. Oh, only lonely housewives and virgin spinsters read romance. Also, people who read romance are too stupid to separate reality from fiction, and as such they've obviously formed unrealistic expectations from real life.

Which is absolutely true, which is why I was devastated when I realised that I could never catch my own unicorn EVER AGAIN after losing my virginity. It totally wasn't worth it. Unicorns are magical! I comfort myself by practising spells.

2012-02-05T15:52:00.000-08:00

My goodness, I am so bad about updating lately. Considering I've usually updated once a day since I created this blog (and sometimes more than once a day - hence 500 posts!), this is pretty unusual.

I mean, in my defence, everyone I follow has also been really bad at updating. Even worse than I am. So there!

Anyway, the Gloss apparently likes to hate-read XOJane. Considering how one writer on XOJane thinks Plan B is the best form of birth control (re: the only one she uses) and another one went around spreading herpes because her doctor was terrible and kept ruining the samples, I can't blame them. (Some of the writers are actually good, though.)

Anyway, basically XOJane was thinking that a picture of yourself first thing upon waking up without make-up was kind of a brave thing. I have all of one picture, relatively old, of me being brave like that!

No, I'm not naked.

SO BRAVE.

And also, because I was bored today (finished my homework, no work...), so I went and made myself not-brave.

My hair looks really dark, eh? Weird.

Anyway, this was just a result of being bored and seeing if I could apply make-up like a normal adult.

I can't think of witty titles, sorry

2012-02-01T18:53:00.000-08:00

About a week ago, the Gloss wrote an article asking the question "Are Small Breasts Becoming Fashionable Again?" based on a) Rooney Mara in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, and b) a gay male fashion designer who apparently stated he thought big boobs were going out of fashion (the "gay male" thing is only relevant because he is, obviously, not interested in boobs the same way a straight male generally is).

I read the article as mostly being kind of tongue-in-cheek since it's a gallery of popular, smaller-breasted actresses/models who've not suddenly because famous since that movie came out.

But the comments. Oh, my god, the COMMENTS. I never realized how many large breasted women apparently hate smaller breasted women.

Some of these women are apparently shocked and offended by this, saying things like "small breasts have always been in fashion. My large breasts mean I get hit on constantly, all the time. I wish I had small breasts!" (Paraphrased...)

And the mind. It boggles.

I just want to say: Dude. If I go out looking my cutest, small breasts displayed in some cute dress you apparently wish you could wear but can't because it would make you look like a whore due to the neckline, with a friend whose large boobs are tastefully displayed in an also cute outfit that doesn't make them look like a whore (seriously, I hate using that terminology, but apparently that's the issue), guess who's going to get hit on?

It's not me, even though you apparently wish you could pull off that plunging neckline. It's never me if there are any women with larger breasts around. The fact that a gay man in fashion, or the fashion world itself, might prefer smaller breasts in no way changes the fact that the vast majority of heterosexual males will go for the boobs first.

So I want to know is who they're hoping to impress with that neckline? It's not men.

And you know what, ladies bitching about having C cups? Fuck you! Yeah, I said it. Fuck you. You're complaining because you get hit on? Do you think you'd be happier never being hit on in the presence of anyone with larger breasts? Especially when "anyone with larger breasts" is "most other women?"

I get that it's gross having people grope you. But it's not your breast size that causes that, it's the proximity of a pervert who would grope anyone, because it's the act of violating someone's personal space that gets them off. I have small breasts. I've been groped. It's not a "big boob" problem.

Maybe when "small breasts" in porn stops being some weird "fringe" offering, you can complain about your large boobs not being popular anymore.

Until then, geez, let the article writer have her day, she's obviously bitter.

(Unrelated: normally I put together the basics of an outfit before I go to bed when I have to get up in the morning. I didn't today, and that ended with me wearing my ballet flats with visible black-and-white striped socks with green frogs on them. Not very stylish.)

2012-01-31T15:42:00.001-08:00

This is post number 500!

And I can't think of anything to write about. Sorry.

Adding an extra bit of height to my steppy exercise thing makes a big difference. Ow, my thighs.

2012-01-26T16:28:00.002-08:00

Talking with my coworker while reading something about Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt's daughter being labelled a tomboy for cutting her hair short:

Me: It looks like Brad and Angelina's daughter is going to be ridiculously pretty when she grows up.
Luke: that makes sense. Why would they pick an ugly baby?

Hahah.

Unrelated, I've had "Tiny Dancer" stuck in my head for hours

2012-01-25T15:22:00.000-08:00

A week or so ago, someone shared this on my Facebook (news feed, not on my wall, otherwise I'd have been like "aww"):

Watermark included.

I commented on how I did not like it, because skinny hating is not the right way to react to fat hating (or whatever you want to call it - that's the most accurate description).

But then yesterday, she posted this:

Much better!

And while it still skews the spectrum towards the skinny side (seriously, those "plus size" models on the bottom are really NOT very plus size), it's definitely got the body-acceptance message.

Every size, there's going to be someone who thinks you're totally the hottest damn thing they've ever seen. Every shape, there's going to be someone who prefers it to others. Personal preference is just that: personal. Some people have very specific likes, others have more general likes, and some people will sleep with anyone that breathes.

I admit that I'm a little shallow. Not hugely so as far as features go, because generally if someone has just one spectacular feature I'll think they're attractive even if the rest of them aren't as pretty, but very much so with body types. I like skinny, but not cadaverous skinny, and not overly muscular skinny. However... in spite of my preference, I don't think people who prefer other body types are crazy, or gross, or wrong, or whatever, for liking what they like. Because really, what does it have to do with me? Doesn't affect my love life that a friend might like bigger men or women! And I'll bet they will be with much nicer people than my ridiculous shallowness will pit me with.

I mean, is it so much to ask for a skinny (but not too skinny), smart, attractive nerd who likes video games and cats and thinks I'm awesome and totally hot?

Apparently!

Hold me closer, tiny daaaaaaaancerrrrr.

Bang bang, you shot me down

2012-01-23T17:21:00.000-08:00

I was going to make a post about how great my college is (both my waitlist teachers did everything in their power to ensure I got into the classes - one was emailing me consistently with updates, and the other overfilled her class in order to get everyone in. Yay!), but something on my Facebook came along and blew my mind.

I mean, I know Americans love their guns. They're all FUCK YEAH, I CAN CARRY A DEADLY WEAPON AND SHOOT THINGS, and this is weird to me unless you're actually a person who hunts and eats (the eating is mandatory for me) animals.

But this was just "lolwut" territory:

There's probably two or three people who read my blog who will have seen this themselves...

This is the article in question.

Basically it's people who've been affected by people shooting guns asking Starbucks not to let people carry their guns into Starbucks.

And I just do not get why that is an issue to anyone. What, do they need to make sure they're carrying in case their barista uses 2% milk instead of non-fat? In case someone goes on a gun-shooting rampage because they're also carrying their gun and their barista didn't make their coffee extra hot? WHY DO YOU NEED YOUR GUN WHILE IN STARBUCKS?

Explain this ridiculousness to me.

If we had England's gun laws we would expect 375 gun homicides each year—97% less than we have.

See, to me, this would be a reasonable reason to give up such gun-clutching. But then I remember that one Republican thing where someone was asking about what someone who didn't have healthcare would do if they were in a deadly accident and someone said "let them die," and I remember this one, important fact I often forget about many, many Americans:

They are selfish bastards who lack empathy.

Not all, of course. This is a sweeping generalization. But I think it's the biggest difference between America and the rest of the first-world countries, you know, the ones with gun control laws and "socialized medicine." In America, it's totally okay not to give a shit if your neighbour is dying. They're probably LAZY, after all, otherwise why would they be so goddamn poor? It's some weird cultural thing in America where you're number one, always, and to hell with everyone else.

I'm not denying that you have selfish people who think "the American way" is better everywhere, but it's not as pervasive a cultural belief elsewhere. It's more an individual thing than a cultural one.

And that, right there, the selfishness of their culture, explains to me the weirdness of very nearly every American I know, except for a very few exceptions (who, if they'd like, can marry me until they're Canadian citizens. I'm down for that!).

Ice is, shockingly, slippery

2012-01-21T16:17:00.000-08:00

I managed to spend the absolute minimum of time outside in this snowy weather we had. Classes were cancelled on Wednesday, the day the snow actually fell. I had to work on Thursday, but since the snow crews had done the main roads (because in Victoria, we say "why bother with side roads when it will all melt within a few days?" It has almost all melted as of today) it wasn't difficult getting to and from work. Just cold.

The weather did remind me of one of the last big (for Victoria) snowfalls we had. I was attending UVic (University of Victoria), and UVic does not give in to some wimpy little snowfalls. (No, even if buses aren't running anywhere but main streets, they expect you to figure out how to get there even if it means walking for more than an hour (to find out all but one of your professors hadn't shown up anyway. Stupid UVic), knee-deep in snow.)

So this was a day or two after the snowfall. They hadn't bothered to clear the road the buses came across, for whatever reason, so there was a good, solid two centimetres of ice coating the road. Buses this day were running half an hour or more late, due to the aforementioned ice roads, and since they came from both directions on this street there was a large group of people waiting for the bus.

The bus which came from the opposite side we were standing on, naturally.

So this great group of people all start carefully picking their way across the road, myself included. There is, of course, a little bit of slipping and sliding, but no dramatic falls.

That is, until I got halfway through the road.

It was like one of those cartoons where someone steps on a banana peel. My legs flew out in front of me. My arms flailed wildly in the air, as if I thought I could helicopter myself back onto my feet (note: this tactic failed). I landed flat on my back, feet flying up in the air to complete the cartoon effect.

Witness to this was around a dozen people.

I had definitely had the wind knocked out of me, and couldn't really find a way to say I was okay. What didn't help is the fact that I thought this was pretty much the funniest thing that's ever happened to me. Have you ever tried to laugh when you have no breath? You look like you're dying. So the people were helping me to the side of the road (so I didn't get hit by the approaching bus), I was trying both to breathe, say I was okay, and laugh hysterically.

I eventually managed to say I was okay.

Of course, this was followed by getting on the bus and sitting down on one of their plastic seats. The moment the bus turned the corner? My ice-covered behind slid right off the seat, depositing me in the middle of the aisle.

2012-01-20T16:35:00.000-08:00

Today I am going to write about attention whores, simply because there is at least one person on my Facebook who fits the definition per Urban Dictionary:

A pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention seeking, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:
1.is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention
2.interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior
3.displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions
4.consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self
5.has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail
6.shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion
7.is suggestible, i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances
8.considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

Anyone who's spent any amount of time on online forums has interacted with at least one attention whore. If you play an online game, it'll be a girl who thinks, because she's a girl, she's somehow special for being a gamer AND a girl and will post excessive pictures of herself, whether scantily glad or MySpace angled. On Facebook, it's that person who has multiple albums of herself posing for her webcam wearing a push-up bra and tousled hair. Both are transparently fishing for compliments.

And both usually get them, because let's face it, some guys are really sad and will compliment anything where boobs are showing.

And I have to say, this behaviour is so weird to me. Wanting compliments, I get, totally. I think most people I know, male and female, have, at one point, posted a really good picture of themselves (or a video of them singing/dancing/joke telling, whatever. Something they excel at) purely for compliments. Ain't nothin' wrong with that!

It's the constant doing it that is the mark of the attention whore. And the constantness of it leads to fewer compliments for basic pictures, leading to the attention whore to show more and more skin in an attempt to get a similar, "drool"ish reaction from his or her admirers. (Although, honestly, 95% of attention whores seem to be women. Is this linked to the (wrong) idea that men's bodies aren't as appealing as women's? Maybe! Post for another day.)

And I think that the motivation behind attention whoring is probably extreme low self-esteem, or else very little self-respect. Not because I think wanting people to see you naked means you have no self-respect, but because the behaviour tends to show an increasing desperation for attention, which isn't the mark of a healthy mindset.

Now, an attention whore is very different from the narcissist. The narcissist posts a billion pictures not because they're seeking validation, but because they genuinely believe that someone wants to see five pictures of the same thing from slightly different angles solely because they were taken by the narcissist. That's the biggest difference, the "teller," if you will. The attention whore wants people to care. The narcissist is already convinced they do.

Facebook is kind of like people watching online.

Some people are so old-fashioned

2012-01-19T12:38:00.000-08:00

I know I've ranted about the whole "people who don't think men and woman can be just friends" before, but it popped up again in my Facebook feed earlier today.

For the record, Green is the person who liked my comment.

Maybe I'm being oversensitive here because the original poster is definitely only Facebook friends with me so he can get drunk and ask me to go out with him the next time he's in Victoria (not likely - smokes and has facial hair, so much yuck to both), but it's so so frustrating reading things like that.

I guess the obvious conclusion to make here is that anyone who feels this way genuinely can't see themselves being friends with a person of the opposite sex. But I despise the idea that it's true for everyone who has friends of the opposite sex.

And yes, I get that sometimes people are attracted to their friends. This makes sense, because you generally hope that you like the people you date, and you like your friends, and your friends might be hot. This is totally okay.

But the problem with the idea that the only reason someone would be friends because of the hope that there might be sex in it sometime is that it's basically saying you don't think there's any other reason to hang with someone of the opposite sex except the eventual boot-knockin'. That a man would never find a woman's personality a good enough reason to be friends; it's all about the hope of sex.

Which is, frankly, ridiculous. Men and women can be friends, even if one person is attracted to the other but it isn't mutual, because sometimes you like the person's company more than you want to sleep with them. You actually, genuinely like having conversations or hanging out with this person.

Crazy, I know.

And frankly, the idea that I'd ever compare a romantic interest to a friend is ridiculous. If I thought the friend was so awesome to be a benchmark of what I want in a man, I'd be dating him.

Most likely, the reason men who are friends STAY just friends (other than lack of them being attracted to me, of course) is because they, for whatever reason, aren't attractive to me. Maybe I'm really shallow and think they're kind of ugly. Maybe they're gross and smoke (smokers are automatic no chances because the smell of cigarette smoke makes me literally nauseous). Maybe they're just that slightest bit too dumb for me to be able to put up with them for the amount of time you would when dating someone (that sounds so arrogant, doesn't it? But I mean, come on, when someone doesn't get your sense of humour, or you have to explain your train of thought all the time, it gets frustrating). Or maybe I just like someone too much to want to ruin a good thing. Whatever the reason, there is a reason.

And in no way does that reason mean he's my point of reference for what boyfriends should be like. (Theoretical "him," of course.)

I hate winter!

2012-01-17T17:54:00.000-08:00

I'd just like to say a few words about why it sucks so much when it snows in Victoria (and Vancouver).

It's not because it gets really cold here, because it doesn't. It's not because we get so much snow, because we don't.

But that is, in itself, the problem with our snow times. Today the temperature (not including the windchill values) fluctuated between -1 and 2 degrees Celsius. For those who know nothing about Celsius, not even that 0 is the freezing point, um, 0 is the freezing point.

So what this means is that during the day, we had many periods of thawing and refreezing. It would drop some snow, the snow would melt into slush, it would freeze the slush into ice, drop another layer of snow, and repeat the whole damn thing over again.

So it gets icy. Like, super icy. Walking on the sidewalks is a test for someone with coordination like mine (that is, no coordination). Crossing the street meant slipping and sliding. The bus turning the corner skidded sideways a metre or so and scraped against the railing to stop people from driving into the little ravine (that was fun).

That's the biggest problem with our snow. Not the cold. Not the depth of snow. The depth of the ice. It was almost three centimetres (over an inch) thick in some places as I was walking home.

I wish we had snow, instead of slush that turns into ice and makes me risk a broken limb (I wish I was joking) every time I go outside the house.

People are crazy

2012-01-15T13:11:00.000-08:00

Do you judge someone based on their astrological sign?

As in, do you say "oh, so you were born on June 10th? That makes you a Gemini, so you're intellectual and eloquent, but also superficial and inconsistent."

If you do, you're probably crazy. Like someone who commented on this article about a woman expressing concern about her boyfriend going to a strip club: Also if your boyfriend is a taurus, aries, gemini or sagitarrius he cheated on you. But a scorpio or virgo I'd keep him, with a closer eye.

To which I say: lolwut.

I think it's pretty say to say that the definition of Gemini doesn't really suit me.

To them life is a game which must always be full of fresh moves and continuous entertainment, free of labor and routine. No.

Also like children, they demand attention, admiration, and the spending on them of time, energy and money, throwing tantrums if they don't get what they want. Very much no.

PROBLEM: You may have the problem of not being able to keep a spouse or a lover due to your pursuit of the opposite sex.
SOLUTION: Cultivate the habit of not flirting with every attractive person you see and make up your mind to be a true and loving spouse, or don't commit until you are really ready to do this. Hahaha. Not a problem I have.

Basically reading through that entire thing is like "no. Maybe slightly. No. No. Good god, no." Both for the good traits, and the bad ones. Flighty? I tend to be stubborn to a fault, much to the frustration of anyone who's had to deal with me. Flirtatious? Ha. I don't even know how.

So assuming someone might do something, or be some way, based on the day of their birth? Completely ridiculous. Our star signs don't make us who we are, or how we are. Whether that's from nature, or nurture, or (my personal belief) a combination of both, what doesn't do anything is the sign we're born under.

I mean, seriously. Does the commenter expect the woman worried about her boyfriend's fidelity in a strip club to go and check to see what her boyfriend's sign is, and make the assumption that "oh, thank GOD, I felt like he was cheating for nothing because he isn't one of those signs," or else assume "oh, NO! He cheated on my because he was born in the summer!!"

Maybe he slept with a stripper, probably he didn't (based on strippers, not on the unknown relative attractiveness of potential cheating boyfriend), but the way to figure that out isn't by his birthday.

2012-01-14T13:32:00.000-08:00

I just read this article called "My, How We've Grown" that basically talks about how small vintage clothing is, the change in average height since 1960 (from 5'3" to 5'4"), the change in average weight (from 140lbs to 164lbs - wow), and why they think that is.

First off, I'd still have been below average height (just!) in 1960. Aww. Secondly, average height only increased by one inch, but average weight increased by twenty-four pounds. That's insane.

I've said many times that I think being healthy is more important than being skinny, but I don't think an average increase of 24lbs implies healthy, since it's likely attributable to the prevalence of fast food and processed foods, many of which are really, really cheap in the US of A (although definitely NOT in airports).

But the argument that vintage clothing is tiny, even taking into account changes in average weight, seems really silly to me. If a woman the average height and average weight of the time can't fit into vintage outfits wearing her normal underclothing, that isn't remotely surprising. We don't wear girdles anymore (well, most of us don't). That kind of shapewear went out of style along with the same, um, styles (damn, I hate words) they were designed to be worn under.

Christina Hendricks is a great example. I mean, hot damn, does she look good in those outfits in Mad Men. But the reality is she's wearing some serious support garments underneath those amazing suits that I covet. (I'm pretty sure the costume designer for that show is in love with Christina Hendricks, because she gets all the best suits.) Were she not wearing those undergarments, she would most likely not be able to fit into those suits and look authentic.

We had (until one of my sister lent it out and never got it back) a satin underskirt that had belonged to my grandmother from the 50s/60s. It fit me just fine, and I don't think I have a ridiculously narrow waist, as they seem to claim women did in those days.

But then, maybe there is a trend towards a higher waist-hip ratio, as they say on the last page, where hips are staying the same, but waists are expanding, and maybe my body type is going out of style.

(Slightly related: the Marilyn Monroe meme thing where they post a picture saying "Monroe was a size sixteen and a sex icon" as if it's at all relevant to today's size sixteen kind of amazes me. Her measurements were something like 37-23-36 at the high end of her weight, which was apparently around 140lbs. There is no one size sixteen now with those measurements, because those measurements are closer to a current US size two-four, since at 32-25-37 I am a size four. She'd be swimming in today's size sixteen clothing. Feel sexy at a size sixteen, please, confidence is great, but don't use a fantasy based on an empty, meaningless number to do so. You don't need someone else's sexiness to validate your own!)

2012-01-12T19:14:00.000-08:00

I was just struck by a thought, sitting here at work, drinking lots of coffee because I seem to think waking up before five am and not being able to get back to sleep is a great idea (note: it is not when you have to work until midnight).

I didn't get hit on once while I was in the Dominican Republic. No, this isn't the thought! I was at the bookstore yesterday and some guy started talking to me, and I initially thought he just wanted to know if I'd read Robert Jordan because he wanted to know if it was worth continuing past the first book (debatable). But then he kept talking, and asked me out for coffee. (For the record, in spite of the fact that he was actually quite attractive and obviously enjoyed reading, my knee-jerk panic reaction was to stammer out something about how I had to get home to study (because there's so much work the first week of classes, amirite?) and run away. In retrospect, since he kept saying his girlfriend had just left him to move to Australia and all he wanted to do since she left was read, this was probably a good decision.)

And the thought was "I spent a week wearing shorts and dresses and bikinis and no one hit on me, but someone asks me out while I'm wearing my three-sizes-too-large winter coat, silly fuzzy warm hat, and mismatched scarf."

Conclusion: WHAT THE FUCK.

I stole all of these pictures

2012-01-12T12:35:00.000-08:00

Since someone complained about a lack of pictures from the Dominican Republic with me in them, I went and stole some from the Facebook of someone who had some of me. (Again, didn't include pictures with anyone else who was there in them, because I did not ask permission to post their faces here.)

In order of days they were taken, as close as I can remember/guess.

For the record, I am totally giving 2 thumbs up. You just can't see my other thumb behind the drink.

Me plus resort. See? I really was there!

I am the vague white blob. On the beach!

I am the less vague, slightly less white blob in the water! (This is the day I got sunburnt.)

My foot slipped on the little ledge of our door.

This was after, hmm, four or five drinks at the wedding dinner, a champagne post-wedding, and at least one mostly rum with a tiny bit of coke at the club. And I'm a bit of a lightweight.

My hair and dress combo made me look like a cavewoman!

The weird guy on our platform who'd just stood there staring into the crowd ruined my poledance.

So drunk, I spend the night in a guy's room! Haha.

I look very skeptical. I can't remember what he was saying.

My mom says I used to stick my tongue out all the time in pictures when I was a baby. That hasn't really seemed to have changed.

HAPPY NOW?

What is the opposite of "homesick"?

2012-01-10T20:01:00.000-08:00

So I am now home. Sadly. It's cold here, and warm there. :(

I'm not going to go into super boring day-by-day detail, because uh, no one really cares that much who wasn't there, and the people who were there know what went on and don't need me to recap it for them (unless they suffer from short-term memory loss. Let me know if this is the case, and I'll make sure to write it all up in an email). I'm also not going to post many pictures, because I didn't ask permission from anyone in them, and I think surprising someone by posting their pictures publicly on the internet is not a good way to make or keep friends.

Suffice to say it was a lot of fun.

The first few days were gorgeous, sunny, and hot. I spent a couple of hours in the ocean without ever leaving it, and ended up with bright red shoulders and a bright red nose, forehead, and cheeks. It was like the worst perma-blush, because it was also really painful, especially on my face. I learned my lesson and made sure to not spend hours in the water at a time and also to reapply. The next few days it rained a bit. On the day of the wedding it poured a lot, completely soaking everything and everyone.

This could have been terrible, but thankfully almost everyone had a sense of humour and went with it. Umbrellas everywhere (I gave up on keeping dry and also taking pictures, so I looked like I had showered in my dress, but whatever. Priorities!), nobody was dry in spite of the umbrellas everywhere because there was also wind blowing the rain near vertically, but everyone had a smile on their face. (Especially grandpa George after one of the bridesmaids' dresses was caught by the wind. Not that the subject of the runaway skirt was a popular topic of conversation afterwards, or anything.)

But all the positives: Sara looked beautiful, she and Julien looked ridiculously happy, speeches were made, fun was had, drinks were drunk (a lot of drinks were drunk), the limbo was mastered by the groom's sister, and dancing of varying levels of skill was done.

The next few days were spent drinking and playing in the pool and sitting in the sun and trying not to burn (I succeeded the second time around, but the same cannot be said for everyone there).

A lot of time was spent at the disco. The music was more stuff we didn't know and didn't really like than stuff we did know and did like, but if you're drunk enough you'll still pretend to grind up against the creepy guy who stood on the platform with your watching the crowd while his back is to you regardless of the music.

I can't mention the disco without mentioning the most excitement (dual meaning for that word incoming) that happened up on the platform above the DJ's booth. So there were a couple of guys wearing "Quebec drinking team" t-shirts dancing around, and I guess they found a friendly girl and took her up to the platform. They proceeded to grind quite enthusiastically. I'm talking lots of enthusiasm. The line of people by the door were all staring at the show being put on, especially these two older women who never looked away (up until things had come to the appropriate climax and oh god I can't believe I just wrote that). I kept trying to look away, but it was like a train wreck. You know what they're doing, but you can't really believe they're doing it right there, and you keep wondering if they're done yet and checking to see if it's over... How often do you get to see people indulge in both their threesome fantasies AND their exhibitionist fantasies at the same time, though, really? As of that night, one time more often than I needed to!

Anyway here is some pictures for those of you not on my Facebook to enjoy.

The view from our (first floor) balcony.

Along the street.

Something went wrong with the sign.

The outlet in my wall was upset. D:

View of the beach from a pool!

Shipwreck out past the beach!

Rainy beach post-wedding.

Sunset.

More sunset!

And fin.

Happy New Year, too!

2011-12-30T21:16:00.000-08:00

I guess I should make a real post about New Years that isn't about the shitty necessity of trying to find a new place and moving (because that SUCKS).

In a little over 36 hours, I will be on a plane taking me to this place:

Yeeeeeah!

Hurray!

As far as resolutions go, I never make them because I would never keep them. I'm realistic! And I don't have any terrible vices that I need to quit, or any weight I need to lose, or whatever most resolutions are. I AM PERFECT. Haha. No, not really, but whateverrrrr. I'm not insanely flawed in easily-fixed ways, either.

Looking towards the new year, though, I do have the fact that I should be getting my diploma part, which is kind of exciting. I've completely messed up my pre-reqs, though, so it's definitely summer classes and possibly another fall semester if they don't have the right classes over the summer. Lesson learned: check what a course's pre-reqs are! Some finance courses have accounting pre-reqs. Some accounting courses have finance pre-reqs. Soooo that really sucks, but it's my own damn fault for not checking.

Ooh, also should be getting my novice license in April. Which means, of course, that I'll need to think about getting a vehicle, but that is four months away. I'll worry about it then.

Also, I totally just answered the phone at work with "Hello?" This is not the right way to answer it.

2011-12-30T18:22:00.000-08:00

Well, shit. My landlord is divorcing his wife and she's getting the house I live in. We got our two months notice tonight.

This sucks so much.

So this turned into a book review, I guess

2011-12-29T22:12:00.000-08:00

I can't remember what I was going to write about, but since this is open anyway, I'll umm, write random things.

So the first and last time I read the Lord of the Rings was when I was nine. Which was many, many years ago now. I've also never read the Hobbit! So I picked up all those books, with the intention of them being my sunny-time reading. Unfortunately, dumb ol'Chapters only had the $15 versions. I mean, I bought them anyway, but it meant I spent as much on three books as I would have spent on five normally. But most irritatingly, they had books 1, 2, 4, 5, and 6 of a series in stock, but not book 3. NOT BOOK 3. I've gone to three different book stores trying to find book 3, and no luck at any of them.

Speaking of that series, I used to own all the books, but I lent them out and never got them back. I guess it speaks well of them that I'm willing to rebuy them, eh?

They are fantasy novels, with a strong romantic element that only occasionally overshadows other plot developments, but in a way that makes sense, since it overshadows one of the main characters' life, as love is wont to do. The author does not apparently have a website! In this day and age! So, I guess I'll link you her page on her publisher's site.

Elizabeth Haydon.

I really enjoy this author's voice, and her worldbuilding is great. You can tell she sat and thought about the history and lore of, well, everything. There is the occasional misuse of a word, but I'm willing to forgive that for the overall experience.

If I had to complain about anything, the main female protagonist really comes off as a Mary Sue. She's just a little too perfect. She's nice to everyone, she loves children, can cook, can sing, is beautiful beyond compare, is super powerful, can fight, stands up for herself. Even her "flaws" are good ones. In these books, it didn't bother me anywhere near as much as most Mary Sue characters do, though, and I'm not entirely sure why. Also, her love interest is kind of useless, considering what he's supposed to be.

But I'd definitely recommend them if you like fantasy.

I am almost out of Neo Citran

2011-12-27T19:59:00.000-08:00

When I got to my mom's house, it turns out that everyone was sick except for Kelly. And it's apparently one of those screw-gestation-I'm-making-you-miserable-NOW viruses, so I got there on the 23rd and woke up on the 25th with my throat on fire. Hopefully what this means is that I will be better by the time I'm in the Dominican Republic.

So, I was talking to my sister Naomi (she's the adult one, Kelly's the sixteen-year-old) about the Pill, and said something about how the best reason to take it is no cramps. Hmm, actually, I'll write it conversation-style, maybe it'll make this better.

Me: The best reason to take the Pill is no cramps!
Naomi: And sleeping with lots of random people.
Me: What does that have to do with the Pill?
Naomi: You don't want their babies!
Me: Yeah, but you don't want their STDs, either.
Naomi: Life is too short to worry about STDs.

Life is too short to worry about STDs.

She also insisted that you can't test for HPV. She argued this with me. My mind is absolutely blown by the fact that my 24-and-a-half year old sister isn't aware that you can test for the most common STD (they estimate 75% of people will be infected with it at one point in their lives), and she thinks STDs aren't worth worrying about.

Now, some of you who've never met my sister, or who don't know her well, might think she was joking. But no. She's serious. Sigh.

Anyway, have a couple of Christmas pictures. Why not, eh?

This is Naomi. Her hat says "Bah Humbug," by the way.

I don't really know why I look like I'm about to cry. But the hat part is like a spring!

My mom got me this pretty dress for Christmas, and I totally styled it up to look super hot with my fuzzy green socks. I'm a fashion guru.

Hats were at my mom's house, and Christmas itself was at her boyfriend's because it's slightly larger, if you were wondering why it looks like two difference places. It is!

2011-12-22T21:25:00.000-08:00

I'm off to my mom's for five days, which will possibly include skiing on Mount Washington, but will definitely include my uncle and my cousin.

So pre-emptive Merry Christmas, or happy Hanukkah, or merry and happy whatever else you might be celebrating!

I hear about this most from atheists, actually

2011-12-21T19:23:00.000-08:00

I keep hearing about people who have their Facebook feeds currently filled with the religious right making their statuses things like "put CHRIST back in CHRISTmas!" and things about how there's a war on Christmas since you have some people saying "Happy holidays."

Thankfully, in spite of having a few quite religious friends on my Facebook, no one's made a status like that, at least, not one that has shown up in my feed.

Because I am really not sure how to take this new persecuted Christian attitude I see. Like the "Tebowing" thing I wrote about a little while ago. It's so exaggerated, what he does, that it isn't surprising someone ended up making fun of it. I don't think it's nice that they did, but I also don't think it's an attack on Christians - just on this one guy who seems to take himself really, really seriously.

And the idea that there's a "war on Christmas" is just so incredibly hilarious to me. I mean, just anecdotally, I can dig out a few score Hindus and Muslims who do the whole decorate-Christmas-tree and give-out-presents thing every year. I don't think they're attacking Christmas.

I suppose the argument could be made that it's turning what is supposed to be a celebration of the birth of Christ into a non-denominational (I wrote that "non-demoninational" to start - no demons!) reason for families to get together and give out presents, and... actually, I think that's pretty much exactly what it is for the vast majority of people I know.

But what I want to know is - how does it stop those Christians from celebrating it with a day in church, or whatever it is they think they should be doing. Fasting? Whatever.

Does someone wishing you a happy holiday mean you're suddenly going to stop celebrating Christmas and instead start celebrating Hanukkah? Or Kwanzaa, or Diwali? (All of which tend to happen around the same season as Christmas.) Or do you think someone wishing you a happy holiday just may be their way of trying to avoid wishing someone a long but PC "Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Merry Diwali, whichever might be your celebration of choice!"

I don't find "Merry Christmas" offensive. Nor do most people I know, Christians, atheist, Hindus, Muslims, whatever. Nor do I find "happy holidays" offensive. Nor do most sane people who realize that their religion isn't the only one that has "holy days."

And really, considering that is, itself, the origin of the word "holiday," how is someone wishing you a "happy holy day" somehow making the day less about your Christ?

An underutilized resource

2011-12-19T12:12:00.001-08:00

To imitate someone on my follow list, I am going to share a paper I wrote for my macroeconomics course. I got a perfect mark, plus a comment from the teaching saying "wow, excellent." So I am quite happy about that.

There are definitely some places where I didn't edit it as well as I should have (I believe I said that gender parity correlates to higher GDP twice), but oh, well.

This is also just arguing from a macroeconomic perspective, which is more of the long run benefits. In the short run, it's costly to do these sorts of things simply because, well, half your adult population is uneducated and unable to be educators.

And I know that for most people, gender equality is a social issue, not an economic one, but the reality is that society influences GDP. It might be coincidence that the countries with the highest levels of parity have the highest quality of life, but it's unlikely that's the reason. Simply because you are wasting human resources, which is a huge factor in any economy.

Eighty two percent of the world’s population lives in developing countries. These are countries defined as “highly disadvantaged in their development process […], and facing more than other countries the risk of failing to come out of poverty” [UNCTAD, 2002]. The quality of life in these countries tends to be quite low, especially for women, who often lack access to education, severely limiting their ability to contribute to their country’s economy. The World Economic Forum found a positive correlation between gender equality and GDP per head, which would indicate that working towards gender equality is beneficial to a country’s well-being. From a purely numbers based theory, women entering the workforce increases the population available to contribute to a country’s GDP, through wages earned as well as becoming a consumer through funds available. In many of these countries, the percentage of women in the labour force is under thirty, leaving a large number of able workers as an unutilized resource. Economically, this is an unsound practice, as a higher GDP correlates with a higher quality of life. Three major causes of women being unable to contribute are child marriage, lack of education, and lack of support for women who have children. The World Economic Forum released their global gender gap report recently, and found a positive correlation between women’s level of equality and their countries’ GDP. Correlation does not equal causation, but the reasoning made is that healthier, better educated women contribute more to the economy both through their own labour, and by raising children who are healthier and better educated who then continue to make their own contribution to the economy. In countries where women lack access to basic rights such as clean water, food, education that are given to their male peers, the rate of mortality from disease, starvation, violence, and childbirth is much higher than in those countries where women have access to the same rights.

Child marriage is defined as the marriage of girls under the age of 18. In many cultures, a girl is seen as a burden, as a daughter is seen as being unable to contribute to her family’s income and, upon her marriage, a dowry is expected to be paid to her husband’s family. As well, marriage in these cultures can cement ties between families, and the right connections can raise a family’s status. By marrying off their daughters while they are still young, her family avoids the cost of raising her to the age of majority. However, when girls are married off at young ages, they are denied any further education from that point on, as their status of being a wife means they are then expected to do the domestic chores reserved to a wife. Their contribution to the workforce is therefore nothing, as the girl cannot work as a child, and after cannot work as a wife. As well, these girls are at much higher risk of dying in childbirth, and their children are also less likely to be healthy and educated, and so their contribution to the economy is also, as a result, low. Child marriage also ends the education of these girls themselves. In countries where child marriage is the norm, the population skews quite highly to the under 15 age bracket, due to the high mortality rate of childbirth for girls under the age of 18, which is exacerbated by the lack of access to skilled attendants at birth.

Educated workers are a requirement in every society, as reading, writing, and basic mathematical skills are required for all but the most menial jobs. Schooling teaches not just how to read, write, and compute, but also teaches problem solving and critical thinking. Education reinforces pathways in the brain that lead to more desirable job skills. Denying women education denies them the ability to perform at the same level as educated peers, which makes them a less desirable investment for any business. As the cultural stigma surrounding girls working and being educated continues in the country, those societies restrict a large available portion of labour. The under-utilization of resources is something that countries that define themselves as “developing” are trying to stop; however, denying women the access to becoming part of that economic growth is not seen as the waste of a resource, as it is so firmly embedded in culture that women are wives, or daughters who burden the family until they are married to provide social ties at any age. The argument for education from an economic perspective is simply an argument to stop under-utilizing a widely available resource.

However, in some developed countries, there is worry that their falling birth rates could lead to a drop in their GDP. Germany, for example, has an extremely low birthrate. The hypothesized cause for this is a lack of support for women who have children, such as daycares only being open until 1pm and a societal stigma towards women who place their children under the care of others for most of a day. While this is less an issue of gender equality, and more of parental equality, the parent who is, statistically speaking, the most likely to stop working in order to take care of a child is the mother. The difficulty with this is that it is hard to combat the issue when it is society-based; however, the effect of women leaving the workforce is undeniable, as it causes higher drain on a country without contributing an equal benefit

At the root of all these problems is the culture in which they are found. However, slowly but surely, many countries have started to work towards more gender equality, recognising that this use of available resources is an economically sound practice. While it may be a coincidence that the countries with the highest GDPs also tend to be the countries with the most equitable gender practices, it would be a difficult argument to make against the correlation. In the USA and Canada, female post-secondary students outnumber their male peers; they graduate at higher rates, and tend to perform better. The United Kingdom, Sweden, Germany, most of the European Union countries, all considered developed, and all having significantly higher enforced gender equality laws. While there are definitely economic difficulties going on in Europe, those are not due to under-utilizing their human resources. Both China and India, two rising economies, have made attempts to increase their gender equality, and have been making great increases in economic terms. Correlation is not causation, but it makes a strong argument for the case.

Edit: I have about a page full of resources I used, such as the World Bank, the United Nations, the Economist, etc. It's researched!

I hate evolutionary psychology, btw. It's such a load of crap

2011-12-17T14:27:00.000-08:00

The ex-coworker of mine who slept with another ex-coworker's husband was doing her passive-aggressive "status update and picture posting" thing again last night.

And I got mad. I had to say something. I told her that if she wants to ruin his life, and his wife's life, she needs to do it, and not waffle around on bloody Facebook. And that she also needs to realise that she isn't the only person her actions will have hurt.

I get that she feels betrayed by this guy. I get that she's hurt, and angry. I mean, we all feel that way about someone at one point in our lives, don't we? But most of us don't sleep with married men, because most of us are smart enough to realise those men are already married. The reality is that most men who cheat don't want to leave their wives. They're just assholes who probably have some sort of bullshit evolutionary psychology excuse for cheating on their wives.

So the guy was charming. So he treated you nicely, better than other men you'd been with. Maybe he even told you he loved you, or that he wanted to leave his wife for you. He could afford to. He'd lose nothing if you didn't go for it. He would still have a wife to have sex with if you didn't sleep with him.

What the entire thing comes down to, though, is that he was married. She knew he was married. She knew his wife. She knew better, she did it anyway, she deserves to pay.

Harsh? Maybe. But I happen to know the man's wife is sweet, completely devoted, and completely undeserving of her husband's betrayal. And she did not deserve to end up with a man who cheats on her. Quite frankly, my sympathies lie very firmly in the wife's camp.

I'm not even saying that I think all women who sleep with married men are terrible. Some are, no doubt. But I'll bet most are like this girl; kind of stupid, kind of in love (aren't those two the same thing, half the time?), and blinding themselves to the reality. Or excited by the clandestine nature of the relationship. But, well... she deserves the pain she gets because of the pain she will have caused.

Subtitled, of course

2011-12-16T18:51:00.000-08:00

I'm watching the Swedish versions of the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo movies, and I have to say - they did a great job with casting.

The American version has a lot to live up to!

Stupid people!

2011-12-15T14:35:00.000-08:00

I've been reading a few articles today.

This one was a little irritating. I mean, everyone should do what they want with their personal bits, whether that's bald as your average porn star, or Demi Moore in the 80s (very much not safe for work). But it was this part, after she said something about how she felt women should do what they want:

I think the disappearance of pubic hair is a tragedy for women. Because going hairless is an unnatural form of female evolution: a movement from womanhood towards girlhood. It seems counterintuitive. Not to mention apologetic for our natural state.

Aside from obviously not being as accepting of other women's grooming decisions (I mean, who cares? I'm not going to see any other lady's personal bits, why should I ever think about what they do?), it's pretty obvious to see what women have never changed a baby girl's diaper before. There are more differences caused by puberty in appearance than just hair. (Obviously, I do not know the current appearance of any labia of girls whose diapers I've changed, because ew. Just IN GENERAL, this is obvious if you've ever seen a non-photoshopped adult ladypart.)

If you want to rage about women who are attempting to look more like little girls, rage about labiaplasty. Yes, that exists. Women chop of parts of their vaginas in order to look more like the "ideal." Which is, quite honestly, ridiculous, and impossible, because they look as different as people's faces.

But, yeah. Who cares what other women do? Why would you judge them? Does it affect you in any way? It's just hair! And not even your hair!

Another I just think is ridiculous is this one: 5 Reasons He Won't Marry You. The biggest reason?

It’s time for the ultimatum. You can either pop the question yourself or just say, “We either get engaged now or we break up.”

To which I reply: Are you fucking kidding me?

If you love this man enough to want to marry him, why would him being happy without marriage mean you need to break up with him? What that says is that marriage is more important to you than he is.

If that's the case, then you probably should break up, but only because he's a real person who deserves to be with someone who loves him for him, and doesn't stick with him because he might end up giving you a shiny ring and an opportunity to wear a white dress.

Why do people have a problem being in long-term relationships without marriage? Does it really change anything? Will it change your living arrangements? Your income?

Do you just really hate your current last name?

Seriously! If you're thinking about breaking up with a guy because he won't fucking propose, you should instead break up with him because you're a shallow bitch.

God, what terrible advice.

2011-12-13T16:41:00.000-08:00

I do not feel well today. I woke up briefly around 8:30ish this morning, fell back asleep, and then woke up at 1pm. This is way, way later than I normally wake up at. My head hurts and feels like it's stuffed with cotton, my throat is sore (those swollen glands have been swollen for more than two months now. Why haven't I gone back to the doctor? I don't know!), my stomach is highly unhappy with me...

And I have a final tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. AWESOME, I love trying to get in some last minute studying when the light on my computer speakers distracts me.

I hate the saying "blood is thicker than water"

2011-12-12T21:36:00.000-08:00

A friend linked this article on Facebook today, and I thought it was just such a sweet story: Led by the child who simply knew.

I just think it's so sweet that the twin is so supportive, that the parents are so supportive, and that the dad is strong enough to admit that he really just did not know how to take it at first. The ending was a real "aww" thing for me:

Wayne tells another story of how things have changed, for good and forever. He and the twins were getting out of the car recently, and he grabbed their hands to walk with them.Jonas, being a teenage boy, shook his father off, while Nicole was happy to walk hand-in-hand, swinging arms.“She’ll do that the rest of her life,’’ Wayne says with a wide grin. “It was an epiphany for me."

C'mon, isn't that sweet?

And it makes me so happy for my family, too. I mean, some people have an abusive parent. Some people have shitty, indifferent parents and grandparents who are completely okay with no longer having their son and daughter, and grandson and granddaughter, in their lives anymore (Dave, Kim, George: I hope you guys burn in hell for how you've made Kelly and Alex feel). Some people have cousins who go through their phone hoping to find naked self-portraits which they then steal (but thankfully do not leave similar self-portraits as a surprise) (DON'T GET ANY IDEAS, SARA!).

But I know that if I went up to my mom tomorrow and said "Mom, I am a lesbian" or "Mom, I've been lying all my life. I'm transitioning to male as soon as possible," she'd be... well, completely shocked, actually, because I'm rather annoyingly straight (why are the girls who hit on me so much hotter than the men?), and very much a girly girl, BUT she would also be completely supportive. Dad would be weird for a while, but he'd eventually get used to it, because he's not an asshole and he loves his kids. My siblings would be, again, shocked, but okay with it. Same with my other relatives.

And I really do feel sorry for people who didn't get to have those safety nets growing up, where they knew if something shitty happened they could go to their mom, or dad, or aunt or uncle or cousin and know that they'd help you out without a second thought, any one of them. I know a lot of people compensate with friends, and that's great, but it doesn't help when you're too little to make your own family, you know?

I think this is a big reason I get so mad when I hear about abusive parents, or family members, or guardians. I mean, it just doesn't seem fair to me that I had that kind of safeguard around me, and there are kids growing up out there who are being betrayed by those who are supposed to be raising them, nurturing them, supporting them. Parents who reject their kids because they're gay, or transgender, or other, ridiculously shallow reasons to reject your child. Maybe if you did everything right and they still turned out to be a mass murderer, you can reject them...

I feel pretty

2011-12-10T17:36:00.000-08:00

Staff Christmas party = excuse to dress up!

Braid crown!

Like twice as much make-up as I usually wear, but I don't know if you can even tell...

Dress! There is a skin-coloured slip of lace in between, so that's not skin you see there.

Ruined!

2011-12-10T14:37:00.000-08:00

I watched a sort of mini-documentary called "The Purity Myth" the other day. The link will take you to a free preview of the entire thing. It's small, and watermarked, but it's the whole documentary, so that's pretty cool.

Anyway, it's about the idea that a woman's worth as a person is based on her lack of sexual contact. About abstinence-only education, and how it fails in actually protecting kids from STDs (because only vaginal sex is REAL sex!), but how it's still receiving funding, in spite of failing. About purity balls and their creep-factor. (Because how freaking creepy is it to pledge your purity to your father? Gag.) All sorts of interesting points that all lead to the same thing: there is a pervasive idea that a woman's worth is based on her purity.

(I know there might be one or two of you who say something like "I lost my virginity at fourteen (or whenever), and no one thinks I'm a whore!" Sorry, but yes. Yes, they do. You just have to good taste to not hang out with them.)

Most of this is, of course, directed at the US. Sex ed was putting condoms on bananas in grade seven for me (by which I mean, we mostly made balloons. We were 12!). Grade eight we were told there were always condoms available for free and without judgment from the counsellor's office and from the youth clinic down the road (it was quite close to the high school I went to, actually). We were told that the only 100% guaranteed way to not get pregnant or catch an STD was abstinence, but we were told how to avoid those if we didn't choose that road, because they were realistic about people whose hormones are running wild.

The totally awkward sex talk with my mom mostly involved her saying that the only real thing she hoped I did was 1) be safe, and 2) feel comfortable and not pressured into doing it. There was no "it's a magical thing, wait until you're married and your husband will think it's the best wedding present gift ever!" Which just sounds crazy. Ladies, think back to your first time, and compare it to how things go now. Do you think it's more fun for both people now, or then? Yeah... Haha.

So it begs the question of why this strange idea of purity is so important to some people? Obviously, no experience doesn't make for better sex. Is it because if you marry a virgin, she has nothing to compare your abilities to, so if you're done in thirty seconds she might think that's normal? Are all conservative men premature ejaculators who hope for inexperienced women who don't know better?

No real men would ever want to marry us! Why, WHY did we ruin our lives and future happiness that is totally based on virginity by having sex? RUINED.

Typing this in Google Chrome, while having two Google products open to tabs...

2011-12-09T12:13:00.000-08:00

Does anyone else who uses Gmail sometimes feel a little bit creeped out by their ads?

Last fall, all of the ads it was giving me were business jobs in Mississauga - why Mississauga? I don't know! But now all my ads are cross-country movers. I'm seriously looking through the emails in my inbox, and I know it recognises keywords through a funny little logarithm to personalise them, but I can't figure out why the cross-country movers!

So it's kind of funny when even your Gmail is telling you moving might be a good thing.

HELP! GOOGLE IS TAKING OVER!

At least I know to use cold water?

2011-12-07T13:39:00.000-08:00

Do you know what is a difficult stain to get out of linens? Mascara.

Damnit!

That is one coat. One! It looks like I took a mascara wand and freaking smeared a vaguely eyelid-curved shape on my pillow.

I learned two lessons here: 1) if I'm going to be dumb and think about sad things when I'm in bed, make sure I thoroughly wash my mascara off, and also 2) I need to buy a waterproof mascara, or else every time I get in the water in the Dominican Republic, I'll be coming out looking like I've developed a sudden interest in looking like a raccoon.

Poor, poor American Christians

2011-12-06T19:04:00.000-08:00

A few of my American friends on Facebook are rather Christian right. One of them linked an article about Tim Tebow (an American football player, if you didn't know and didn't bother clicking the link), and how the author of the piece felt that no other religion in America is it okay to make fun of the way some players made fun of Tebow's "tebowing." According to her, if anyone had done similar to a Muslim, people would have been up in arms about it.

And I have to ask her: are you stupid? Do you live in America? Have you ever spoken with another American? Because apparently only the first part is right. The number of Americans I see making fun of, or discriminating against, religions other than Christianity, including atheism, is way freakin' larger of Americans making fun of Christianity, and no one says anything. It's okay for right-wing American pundits to go on about Obama's apparent Muslimness, and denounce him for it. It's okay to freak about about a "mosque" being built near the former Twin Towers.

But a football player (or possibly two, fuck if I know or care) making fun of another guy's overdone "PRAISE THE LORD" act means ALL CHRISTIANS ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST BECAUSE IN AMERICA, IT'S ONLY OKAY TO MOCK CHRISTIANITY.

What the hell, lady. Do you live in a cave, alone, with no internet access? Do you not watch the news channel you apparently write for? Christians in America are not downtrodden masses, desperately clawing towards equality with other religions. Christians in America seem to think that Christianity should be in charge of everything before it's good enough, or equal enough.

The rest of the world looks on America as being this insane, Christian country, where Christianity is key, and being anything other than is grounds for being discriminated against. And I have seen very little to disprove this in many, many states, and small towns in states where the big cities might be more diverse. I would not want to be an atheist in small town America, in any state.

On prettiness and arrogance

2011-12-05T10:11:00.000-08:00

Please stop deciding which girl in the family is the prettiest.

I found that line quite interesting. As far as I know, no one in my family is "the prettiest." Growing up, there was no emphasis placed on how I looked, and I'm relatively certain that isn't because I was an ugly kid, or because my sisters or cousins were ugly kids. It just wasn't something our family felt the need to comment on excessively.

But I can see how that would be damaging. For both the "pretty one" and the "less pretty ones." I would assume that in families where they do make the distinction that there is a lot value on being pretty. After all, isn't it the first thing a lot of people say to little girls? "Isn't she pretty!" or "Aren't you pretty!" It's the default compliment, like I've said before.

I think that probably most of the people who read my blog will understand why it's damaging for the pretty one as well as the less-pretty one, but I'll explain my thoughts anyway.

When so much emphasis is placed on your looks, especially from a young age, you start to prioritize that over anything else. While there's nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, there are limits to where it's still balanced with other things. And the reality is that you can't get by on looks alone, at least, not as an independent person. Looks help you get ahead, this is very true (proven by science!), but they can't help you get the qualifications required. By telling these girls that their appearance is the most important thing about them, you're saying that it's not as important that they cultivate work ethic, or nurture another ability they might have, or work on their social skills... and that's not a good thing.

Not only that, but it can also potentially give girls an inflated sense of their own attractiveness. The "pretty one" in a set of average-looking family members isn't going to be as pretty as the "pretty one" in a set of attractive family members. And the only thing sadder than a girl who doesn't know she's attractive is one who thinks she's way hotter than she is, and who also thinks it's her best asset. And I guess it's possible her slightly-above-average looks are her best asset, if as a result of being the "pretty one" she didn't work on any other life skills beyond flirting.

For the "less pretty ones," it's going to damage their self esteem. Seeing their family member always being singled out first as being "so pretty" can't be a nice feeling. It means you're always noticed second. And it makes it obvious that people don't think you're as pretty, which is kind of hurtful. No one ever wants to hear "yeah, she's okay, but [whoever] is way better looking." Yes, I have no doubt these girls will work on something to try to make themselves as noticed - maybe attempt to change their own appearance, or become really good at school/music/athletics in an effort to do something where they'll be praised first, but it's not as healthy as doing those things because you're driven by an actual interest, and not by a desire for the attention so casually slung towards your more attractive relative.

And can I just say that I really get annoyed by people who are so smug in their own attractiveness? The reality is that not everyone will find those people attractive, but the people who just assume that everyone thinks they're so hot, and all want to sleep with them, are just so infuriating in their arrogance. Confidence is good - thinking a lot of people find you attractive is perfectly healthy. It's when you assume everyone does and act shocked or upset when someone doesn't jump at the opportunity to get in your pants that you become irritating.

I mean, is it really so shocking that someone might not want to sleep with you? Maybe you're full-on crazypants. Maybe you're a different body type than they prefer. Or hair, or skin, or eye colour. Or maybe you just don't smell right, who really knows.

But some people take it so personally, that they feel the need to blame the other person. Suddenly, someone they had (obviously) wanted to sleep with rejected them, so there is obviously something wrong with that person, since it can't be them! Everyone wants them! And that is what makes those people so grumpy-making. Inability to accept that some people just might not want them, and making it so anyone who doesn't is obviously messed up (even if they have to make up reasons those people are messed up).

Douchebags in clubs are a perfect example. Like those guys who practice the pick-up artist techniques. Uuuugh. I want to punch them all in the face for giving men a bad name.

Maybe they feel the same way about the theory of... gravity?

2011-12-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

Hahaha.

Updating for the sake of updating!

2011-12-03T20:54:00.000-08:00

Every year, Victoria has a light-covered truck parade all around the city. I've never seen it before, because I've never been close enough to downtown to bother, but it was really cute!

Do I really sound like that? My voice is so shrill. D:

Also, the company I worked for was named the #6 best company to work for in BC! I definitely agree, I <3 this company and the only reason I wouldn't stay with them forever is because, well, I can make more doing entry-level accounting jobs than I do. But how can you not love a company that gives you a $200 Christmas bonus when you've only been working there six months? I mean, really!

I've also been at work six days this week, the only day not at work being the day I have classes all day. Plus I've been IN classes, and my brain is completely. Dead. I did six hours of data entry today, just mindlessly entering in new guest profiles from the old system to the new one, reservations, accounts receivable balances... eurgh. On the plus side, this means we will have very little to worry about not having in the new system!

(I totally didn't mention I've been working so much because we're getting a new system in. So we've all been training, and working our regular shifts. I've had less overtime than most, but only because I have classes!)

2011-11-30T14:55:00.000-08:00

I was reading a post on vanity, kind of, and I really liked this quote and wanted to share it!

I once read an interview with a doctor who made non-functional (that is, “cosmetic”) prostheses for people who had lost body parts due to infections. (Darryl Hannah wears a prosthetic finger in films and photos). The doctor commented that some patients, often men, felt it was vain to pay for a prosthesis that wouldn’t have any practical use. And the doctor would tell them that it wasn’t vain to want to blend in. Vanity, said the doctor, was wanting to stand out; these patients wanted the opposite. They wanted some fucking hands.

I want this dress in real life

2011-11-29T23:33:00.000-08:00

2011-11-28T21:38:00.000-08:00

I can't watch anything by this guy without then spending way too much time on Youtube. It's kind of like when I watch clips from Extras. I just can't stop.

Aw, heck, here, have the Sir Ian McKellen clip!

"How do I act so well?"

2011-11-28T15:37:00.000-08:00

I was talking with one of my coworkers yesterday, and we were talking about the whole Occupy Wall Street thing. And we agreed that the weirdest thing about Occupy Wall Street isn't the protesting, isn't the people camping out, isn't even the police brutality - it's average Joe American's reaction to all of those.

For us, we watch the videos of people being pepper sprayed for sitting and refusing to move in protest and are horrified, and read the police statements about how the people who did that "felt threatened" by the (peaceful, non-aggressive) crowd with disbelief, as I'm sure most of my readers do, as well (since the Americans I know seem to be relatively sane - as sane as anyone!).

But you read comments on Youtube videos, or people's statuses on Facebook, or comments on news articles, or freakin' Fox News itself, and there are people who not only think that sort of behaviour was okay, but that it was justified. And it's always Americans. American, land of the free (to get pepper sprayed for exercising your right to gather in protest).

It's just crazy how many people are either okay with the violence, indifferent to the violence, or even SUPPORT the violence.

You are what you eat

2011-11-27T19:52:00.000-08:00

There's a meme thing going around Facebook that I find really irritating.


This.

And the thing is, I'm not denying Nigella Lawson is a lovely lady. She is. I'm also not denying that desserts are amazing, because I love sugary things.

What annoys me is this is attempting to imply that their diets in any way have to do with how they've aged. And, um, not really. How people age is more about genetics than diet.

What it IS is a rather lame attempt to justify eating food that is bad for you, and how it does that is by shaming a woman who, yes, eats healthy, and who, as she aged, shriveled up like a raisin.

How fucking dare she try to promote healthy eating? What kind of terrible person does that? Fruits and vegetables? BEANS? Reduced red meat and increased seafood? Doesn't that just sound DISGUSTING?

I'm not denying Gillian hasn't aged as gracefully. But on the other hand, Gillian's appearance is not as big a draw for her as Nigella's is for HER, and I'm thinking it's probably likely that Nigella had a little work done. And even if she hadn't, well, some people just age amazingly well.

In any case, I would rather watch Gillian upbraid overweight people for their awful habits than watch Nigella cook everything in goose fat and butter.

Because I can't think of anything else to write

2011-11-27T17:22:00.000-08:00

Talking to my guild about this picture:

In Coombs, for anyone who knows the area!

Oops, I totally did not crop that together properly. We didn't repeat ourselves, to ignore anything said twice. :D

2011-11-25T19:37:00.000-08:00

So... I've heard of Mommyjacking, which is this Facebook thing where moms add a comment on completely unrelated status updates, talking about being a mom, or their kids.

Apparently, some people like to tragedy-jack?

Yay you won the lottery, oh, your nephew drowned tragically at age 24 and my friend's daughter was abducted and raped. BUT HEY, $20!!

I think, maybe, there are more appropriate venues (even on Facebook!) to ask someone about their missing person. :/

Rant rant rant!

2011-11-25T13:50:00.000-08:00

I've already stated I'm pro-choice in a previous post, so I'm not going to go on about my reasons for being so again. BUT, after reading this article and one of the comments, I'm going to rant about terminology.

The comment in question:

AT LAST FOR ALL TO SEE

Published images of life in utero. Pro abortionists won't like this. A face to go with the person to whom so many think is not a person. How beautiful.

"Pro-abortionists." That's not, I suppose, as bad as "pro-death," but it is still incredibly ridiculous. Look, most people arguing for the availability of abortion are not arguing because they think it's great fun to have a fetus purged from your body. Seriously, they aren't. Abortions are completely legal in Canada, and you don't see us running around, getting pregnant on purpose for abortion parties, where everyone brings pads and Ibuprofen (tampons, obviously, would block the fetus from exiting) and high fives about escaping motherhood.

It's called "pro-CHOICE" for a reason. Because the choice should be there. Because sometimes, you can't carry a baby to term: health, whether physical, mental, or emotional. Wealth: you can't afford clothes that will fit, you can't afford to feed yourself enough to support a baby as well as yourself. And sometimes, you just can't afford, for whatever reason, to have a child. And having a child requires sacrifice. ALL parents, even the most loving, admit they sacrificed things to have children. And, well, some people are selfish and don't want to sacrifice. Better people who'd neglect their children abort a fetus than raise a child in that kind of environment. Children deserve better than parents who DON'T WANT THEM. And if someone doesn't want a child, well, the choice should be there for them to not have one BEFORE it's an actual, living breathing feeling child.

(Living is undeniable for fetuses, I know this: but it can't breathe, it can't yet feel emotions (it has an undeveloped brain), and it cannot survive on its own outside the uterus. Not the same as an actual child.)

I take the same issue with people who go around calling pro-lifers "anti-choice." Some people, you can point to in the media and say "that person isn't pro-life, they are anti-choice. 100%." But a lot of people think that fetus is a baby, same as a two-year-old toddler, and that's why they're against it. They want you to carry it to term, and give it up for adoption if you can't afford it.

The biggest problem in the whole abortion debate is the hypocrisy. A lot of people who call themselves "pro-life" are more accurately "pro-pregnancy." Once the pregnancy ends, those people don't care what happens to the baby, whether it has food, or clothes, or diapers, or a caregiver who gives a shit whether it lives or dies. And I think it's hypocrisy to identify as "pro-life" when you don't give a damn about the baby's actual life. Just its gestation.

Aaaand that's rage-inducing, right there.

This is a segue into child abuse in the United States.

Over the past 10 years, more than 20,000 American children are believed to have been killed in their own homes by family members. That is nearly four times the number of US soldiers killed in Iraq and Afghanistan.
The child maltreatment death rate in the US is triple Canada's and 11 times that of Italy.

Why is this relevant to abortion?

In the US, when children are born into young families not prepared to receive them, local social safety nets may be frayed, or non-existent.

The difficulties women in the US face finding an abortion provider, and the stigma against getting one even if you're a sixteen year old girl with no job, no money, an abusive boyfriend, and neglectful parents is almost definitely going to lead to more neglected children than it is young girls growing up and becoming great parents.

If abortion can reduce the number of children born into neglectful or abusive households, then I say "hand me that abortion pill!" Child abuse, of any sort, makes me so sick with rage.

Update on relationship drama:

2011-11-24T23:31:00.001-08:00

I was right about who the guy was. :(

You gave your heart to an asshole who cheated on his wife... did you expect he'd somehow be willing to commit to his woman-on-the-side if he can't be faithful to his (prettier, smarter, nicer, if I'm being honest) wife?

Edited to add: oh, and advertising said cheating on Facebook, where she has an account, and many mutual friends, is not likely to earn you brownie points in the stealing-her-man competition.

Weight for it... (sorry, bad pun!)

2011-11-23T14:15:00.000-08:00

I just read an article that says that as the average weight of Americans goes up, so does their perceived ideal weight. The theory seems to be that it's self deception - as people gain weight, they don't want to admit how far they are above a healthy weight. And it isn't like there's a tiny window of "healthy" weights. I googled "healthy weights" and got:

According to your height of 5' 3" your ideal healthy weight is 126 pounds. Your recommended weight range is between 112 and 140 pounds.

That is almost thirty pounds you can fluctuate around and still be considered healthy. That is a lot of weight, for reals. According to that second article, it's estimate that 72% of Americans will be overweight by 2020. 72%. That's very nearly 3 in 4 people. Holy. Shit.

I'm not American, and although Canada is apparently also gaining weight (though not at the same rate), I live in BC, which is the one of the skinniest parts of Canada, so the actual amount of truly overweight people I encounter is pretty small. So I'm curious - what do you think is causing it? As an American, do you think it's cultural, a "bigger is better" thing in terms of portions which is then translating to a "bigger" population? Is it lack of healthy, affordable foods? Is it plain old stupidity, because people don't know what healthy is? Or even a "fuck you, healthy food guide, I'm an AMERICAN, you can't tell me what to do!" attitude? (God, I have totally seen people on the internet like that. Cutting off their noses to spite their faces because it's American freedom! FUCK YEAH.)

Unrelated to obesity, my ideal weight is apparently 126 lbs? And my low end of healthy is apparently 112 lbs? This means I'm just barely above the low end of what is apparently a healthy weight for my height. As in, if I get sick again (oh, wait, haven't I been nauseous/throwing up last night and today? RIGHT) and lose any weight, I might be hitting underweight.

And that is messed up. I look at myself in the mirror and I see fat. Everywhere (except my boobs! Stupid boobs). And in terms of weight, I'm not, and am far from. What the hell. I mean, I removed my post about the "size 8" model because I thought I looked fat in my pictures, I'm not going to lie.

I guess that's the most obvious indication I've ever had that my perception of myself is really fucked up. I have no idea what anyone else sees when they look at me. Does anyone else see a fat person? :/

I miss you, What Not to Wear!

2011-11-22T18:26:00.000-08:00

I'm not big into fashion. I'm a t-shirt and jeans kind of girl, and with the exception of dresses, that's mostly what I stick to. It's not fashionable, but it's pretty timeless. Someone would be hard pressed to say I wasn't fashionable, because the likelihood that jeans and t-shirts will suddenly be seen as out-of-style is pretty unlikely. The look's been around since women started wearing pants.

Of course, shirt style and pants style have changed (thank goodness, I don't have the figure for mom jeans!), but the idea itself has stuck around.

In spite of that, I have one friend on Facebook whose pictures just make me think "DAMN, girl, I want to 'What Not to Wear' your entire wardrobe." After one egregious outfit in a picture that happened to be uploaded a day my sister was visiting, I had to show her, and she totally agreed. If I knew this person better, I would go to her house, go through her wardrobe, and throw out probably around 60-70% of what she wears for being insanely unflattering. And occasionally just plain ugly.

I miss "What Not to Wear." I mean, how can you not love a show where they take someone who's stuck in a rut of ugly clothing, give them guidelines, and turn out someone who not only looks waaaay better, but always FEELS better because they're not wearing ugly or unflattering clothes?

It was so great for tips on like... every body type, too. How to make pear/apple/ruler shapes look more balanced. How to look sexy without your boobs hanging out all over the place (so many inappropriate older women in young women's clubwear).

It's like... A-line skirts, good for all the women! Drapey, flowy tops only good with a balanced, fitted bottom, and vice versa! Belts are great for giving you the illusion of a narrower waist! Knee length skirts if you're short! Etc etc, blah blah blah. I don't really need the narrower waist hints, because nature helped me out there (thanks, Nature, that was something you did right for me. Fuck you for everything else, though), but the rest was like "oooh, yeah, drapey everything makes that woman with the bangin' figure look like she's a boy with boobs. Avoid wearing that combo."

And, of course, the biggest lesson was "wear ALL the heels."

And now all I need is a reason to care

2011-11-19T18:44:00.000-08:00

So in the interests of getting into better shape without having to go outside in the cold, after my driving class today (in which I crashed into nothing, not even on the "swerving" simulation!) I went and bought one of those... steppy things. For step classes.


Steppy thing!

I also bought some 2 pound weights that go on your wrists or ankles.

Shown here on my ankle.

I figure that as far as exercise goes, it's really easy to motivate myself to turn on some music with a good beat, strap on the weights, and just go for however many minutes a day. And even on a busy day, with lots of homework and studying and class and work and OMG, I can fit in at least ten minutes of stepping.

I had been skipping rope, but the one I had kept twisting up while I jumped, which made it get shorter and shorter until it either smashed my poor little toes (okay, they're actually pretty long, judging by that picture, but little relative to the rest of me) or smacked me in the back of the head, which meant I'd only get around 10-20 seconds of jumping before sore toes or undignified head smack.

So hurray!

God, I hate Twilight

2011-11-17T14:07:00.000-08:00

I have made no secret of my extreme dislike of the Twilight series. The writing is bad, Edward displays classic warning signs of abusive relationships (I mean, seriously, you can go through that list and be like "yep, yep, yep, yep..."), Bella is a terrible person who shows no remorse in using those around her to get what she wants, and who shows no affection or empathy for anyone who isn't a beautiful Cullen.

Which is why I was so surprised when an assistant professor of American literature (at some unnamed Manhattan university, even) wrote a defense of the Twilight series.

You see, the problem with saying the Twilight series has any merit (the piece argues that in spite of it being vampire babies, the pregnancy was realistic in a hyperbolic way) is that you give the author way too much credit. She was not writing deep, meaningful things on the reality of how dangerous pregnancy can be. She was writing a Mary Sue novel about a dream she had, where she was able to write what she wanted to be.

The problem with the Twilight novels is not that Bella is an uncertain teen. There are many young adult novels that deal with teen angst well, with heroines who aren't Lisbeth Salanders (the writer of the piece above compared the heroine of "the Girl With the Dragon Tattoo" series to a "tiny man" due to her actions). They deal with the issues of teen sexuality, relationships with friends/parents/boyfriends/girlfriends, school, finding out who you are and who you want to be, you know, all that gritty, real stuff almost everyone went through at one point. And it's ridiculous to imply that heroines only come in two flavours - Bella Swan and Lisbeth Salander.

The problem with the Twilight novels is that they romanticise abusive behaviours. They don't deal with Bella's difficulty in separating herself from a controlling relationship, they don't deal with Bella finding herself... they're about Bella finally giving up everything from her former life (parents, friends) by becoming a vampire (since, you know, everyone is going to die), and Bella becoming an extension of Edward. There is nothing empowering about that.

These novels are not self-aware. They aren't making a sly commentary on how it feels to be the female half of an abusive relationship, while giving up subtle clues about the reality of the situation. (See this article about "Lolita" which argues that Nabokov did it right.) Watch or read any interview with the author, and you can tell she genuinely believes her novels are romantic ideals.

Which is why I was genuinely horrified when I read them after my brother and sister had and loved them. I sat them down and had a good talk with them about the behaviour in the books, and why it was so far from any real ideal. I don't have a problem with people reading and enjoying terrible books, because I'm sure we've all read and loved something that almost no one else agrees has any literary merit, but I do think it's important to think critically about what you're reading, and to be aware that behaviours that don't end in abuse in a fantasy novel will almost definitely end in abuse in reality.

(Seriously, we went and looked up "warning signs he might be an abuser," and they were both like "... that's like, everything Edward does! WTF." Smart kids.)

And in relationship drama news...

2011-11-16T18:58:00.000-08:00

Aaah, Facebook. What would I do for drama without you?

I am 90% certain that the man in question is another woman's husband, so I don't have much sympathy. Especially since that woman (the wife, I mean) is one of the most genuinely nice people I know. (I mean, I know girl in pictures was having an affair with the husband, but I'm not certain it's still the same guy in those statuses.)

For all those friends who've had some relationship drama going on: This isn't how you should do it, but by golly, I feel like I should be eating out of a bucket of popcorn.

Hollywood is dumb

2011-11-16T15:04:00.000-08:00

There is a new Snow White themed movie coming out sometime whenever.

Chalize Theron as the evil queen, and Kristen Stewart as Snow White.

Now, there is absolutely no nice way to say this, but there is no planet on which Kristen Stewart is ever going to be more beautiful than Charlize Theron. I tried to find the best picture of Stewart and put it beside just a good one of Theron, and there's no comparison.

Even super airbrushed with great lighting, Stewart is still just pretty, and Theron is gorgeous. And since the entire basis of Snow White is that Snow White is more beautiful than the Evil Queen, the movie just doesn't work on that premise due to the choice of actors.

So dumb. I mean, even look at that preview. Theron is HOT. Stewart looks boring compared.

We are the stuffed men/ Leaning together/ Headpiece filled with straw

2011-11-14T13:47:00.000-08:00

I was reading an article on Huffington Post (for women section, I think? Everything is pink) called Wearing Revealing Clothing Hurts Men, Too, Study Claims. Basically, what it comes down to is people wearing less clothing are seen are being more emotional/sensual, and people wearing more clothing are seen as more uh, word I can't think of - capable of thinking, basically.

The comments, naturally, devolved into an argument about objectification - people insisting objectification goes both ways, blahdy blah blah. (For an interesting look at how society treats male versus female physical beauty, read this.)

One comment especially was served with crazysauce:

Feminist have a problem with male sexuality because they can't relate to it.

Oh, right, feminists are asexual manhaters. Ignore that the actual dictionary definition of feminism is only "The advocacy of women's rights on the grounds of political, social, and economic equality to men." Because in reality, feminism is all about hating men, and trying to degrade them. No feminist will rest until all men are caged in pens, and used only for physical labour and breeding purposes.

This is such an irritating assumption. My roommate recently accused an article of being "misandrist" because it spoke about the status of women in third-world countries. It said nothing about hating men, or men being evil. It just said, realistically, that the status of women in most third-world countries is pretty shitty. Which it is, and it's pretty damn hard to argue the point if you've read any statistics on things like literacy rates, education, etc, between the men and women of these countries.

It's the Straw Man fallacy. If you insist all feminism is man hating, you don't have to argue any of the actual points made. And it's so frustrating to have to say "I don't hate men" every time you say you're a feminist. I mean, do I really need to state that? I have many uncles, two brothers, a dad, male friends... I don't hate any of them simply because I think I should get paid equal money for equal work, or that men shouldn't be emasculated because they prefer to be their kids' primary caregiver and not the breadmaker, or that women in certain parts of Africa shouldn't have their labia sewn shut to ensure their virginity.

I mean, really. Do any of those sound like man-hate?

2011-11-13T19:54:00.000-08:00

Thank you, STFU, Parents, for showing me how classy some people are:

Both of them? REALLY??

Why I sometimes delete my posts

2011-11-13T18:28:00.000-08:00

I was chastised on Facebook for deleting a couple of my recent posts. Sometimes I do that! I don't like them when I go back and read them, or I feel I didn't express myself properly, or I think they sound stupid, so I delete them. Sometimes it's even because I feel emo about the fact that no one seems to read or comment on a post I put a lot of thought and effort into, and then check my analytics and it turns out everyone is actually watching the Grapist threaten to grape kids in the mouth. The biggest reason I deleted the one about the "size 8" model was because I was not happy with those pictures.

Now, this isn't about commenting: I know at least one reader has decided to stop commenting due to another reader, which is totally okay, and I have a couple of readers who never comment on anything, which is also okay. I kind of assume the fact that they keep coming back is an indication that they're finding something worth reading. But, like I said, it's a little disheartening when your most-viewed post is just a link to a Whitest Kids You Know skit. (Although it's a freaking hilarious one!)

So, yeah, if a post disappears from my blog, it's probably because I deleted it for some reason! Blogger doesn't delete things from feeds, though, so it'll still be on your Google Reader and showing up in your Blogger follow window. I don't think there's a way to stop that, as I'm always showing as-yet-unpublished posts from someone's blog in my feed (which is really annoying, since if I want to comment on a post I can clearly see, it's not there when I try, and it doesn't update when it is ACTUALLY posted, so I never know when it's posted for real or not. Note: if I rarely comment on your blog, it's because of this).

As an aside, there's no real way to confront someone online about something without coming across as a bitch, is there? No matter how you phrase the question to guidelines given by your "management communications" course, that person will always assume the most negative tone. I'm as guilty of it as anyone! But sometimes things just need saying. Maaaan, internet drama. You try to stay out of it, make one mistake, and BAM. Online soap opera. I just need someone to accuse me of stealing their boyfriend, haha.

2011-11-08T23:19:00.000-08:00

Quite a powerful read: The Most Racist Thing That (N)ever Happened

2011-11-08T20:27:00.000-08:00

I recently came across this website called The Good Men Project, and I have to say, I quite like it so far. Its articles are well-written, those I've read, they're about interesting topics, and they mostly seem to say "men being means men being themselves, regardless of what that is." Which is like, AMAZING to find on the internet, right?

However, comments, as always, are not quite on the same level of quality as the articles have been. This was a comment on an article about catcalls, and the reason most women don't like them because everywhere we're forced to be aware of the possibility of rape. We're taught to live defensively, and aggressive male behaviour can be frightening and definitely off-putting:

I can empathize with fear of being raped by any of these men. Can women empathize with rage at being rejected by all of these women?

Wow, am I right?

For one thing, no, I can't empathize with rage. Rejection makes me feel many things: embarrassed (because if it's someone you even occasionally, it's awkward), hurt (because aww, they didn't like you), sad (because you liked them and they don't like you back!), ugly (because obviously there is a reason they don't like you)...

What it doesn't make me is angry. Do you know why? Because that person has every right not to want me back. Anger is generally (when it's rational, of course) from someone doing you wrong. Rejecting you, not being interested in you, isn't doing you wrong. It's just not doing you right, which is not the same thing at all.

2011-11-07T15:05:00.000-08:00

I learned a new term today. "Serial monogamy." Serial monogamists are apparently people who spend more time in relationships than out of them.

I have to admit, I've always assumed that people who never seem to be single are the kind of people who desperately hate being alone, and that's definitely unfair of me. I wouldn't want someone to think the reason I'm always single was because I'm a heinous bitch who pushes people away, but I'm sure some people just assume that.

So I guess I can see the author's point. At the same time, though, my perspective is that if you can bounce from person to person without a "mourning period," I guess you can call it, I just assume the depth of feeling you had wasn't very... deep. (There are no decent synonyms to use there!)

I realize this is judgmental, but it's just because I couldn't do it myself. I'm not going to be all "oh my god, you started dating Bob two months after ending your two year relationship with Bill? You shallow bitch!" or anything, because that would be crazy! However, unfair as it is, that's just kind of the feeling at the back of my mind.

However, I don't think there's anything wrong with that, exactly. I don't think holding back that part of yourself (which is what I kind of assume it is, since it is not the way I do things, so I can only make assumptions of how it works) is a bad thing, and I don't think it means you don't care about the people. I just assume that whether it's because you were hurt, or because you saw someone else get hurt enough that you developed your own defense, you just keep a part of you in reserve to sort of... cushion the blow, as it were.

On one hand, I'm jealous. I don't let people in often, but when I do, losing them for whatever reason is just painful. On the other hand, I think keeping that little separate emotional cushion would make me feel quite lonely, since no one could ever quite know all of you, good and bad.

However, this is all just my opinion of something that I don't do, so it's all just assumptions. If you are a serial monogamist, how does it work for you? Am I way off base and insulting you by implying you don't care as deeply? Please let me know, because I'm not trying to! I just am curious about how you escape the mourning period. :)

2011-11-06T14:47:00.000-08:00

I just read an article I think is kind of silly. It says you shouldn't HOPE that "you will find your true love, you will feel more confident, and you will achieve your goals and dreams," you should have faith that it WILL happen. Because "the divine" wants you to have it.

What is the divine? Do you think there is a higher power out there that has created someone who is perfect? That is so silly. No one is perfect, but lots of people are great. You shouldn't ignore great people because they aren't perfect. Sometimes you'll meet someone who seems perfect, but who ends up not being perfect once you get to know them. Maybe someone who doesn't seem perfect will seem perfect after you do.

I mean, don't you think that someone just appearing completely perfect would be way too easy? Nothing else in life is that easy. There are very few people for whom everything just falls into their lap and who never have to work for anything. Odds are you're not one of them, and odds are, that perfect-seeming person is secretly a heinous bitch/asshole underneath that perfect exterior.

No one is nice all the time. No one always says the right thing. No one always comes across as intelligent (god knows even the smartest people I know can sometimes be dumb as stumps!). But sometimes people surprise you.

So I guess my point is, don't wait around for perfection, believing it will someday come. You need to be proactive in trying to get what you want, in love as in life, and actually wait to get to know someone before deciding whether you think they're super cool or just kind of meh. And if you want something, go after it. There's no shame in failing.

I highly doubt there are many people who never look back at something, or multiple things, and think "man, what the hell was I thinking?!" You make the mistake, you deal with the embarrassment/hurt/anger/other emotions, you learn from it, and you move on.

Hopefully not making the same mistake again.

2011-11-04T15:35:00.000-07:00

Hahah.

At the age of 3 or so, I was in cohorts with the family cat. I reached into my parents' fish tank, and we shared a (delicious?) goldfish. My mother noticed awhile later but didn't figure it would hurt me to have eaten the fish, so she put something heavy on the tank's lid and used the incident to torment me later in life.

Courtesy of a comment on STFU, Parents.

2011-11-02T17:11:00.000-07:00

I read an article on Forbes, of all places, about "Why Most Women Will Never Become CEO." And I have so many problems with it that I'm actually having difficulty articulating why.

As far as gender stereotyping, and the CURRENT reasons why many women will not become CEO of their companies, he's right. In the current order of things, most big companies are a "Boys' Club," with everything that implies. When you were a kid, did the boys have a "No girls allowed!" club? Many companies act under the same sort of culture today, where women are seen as interlopers, and allowed positions of power only grudgingly.

The problem is using this like it's a valid excuse.

It isn't. I don't even know why this needs to be said. If something is unfair, you don't sit back and say "well, that's just how it is." You change it. If men, or, as you say, your son, are and will be in a position to change this, they should. You should not sit back and say "oh, well, my son things women are something to be objectified and that farts and swearing are hilarious, so that's what you get to deal with, ladies!" You have obviously done something wrong if you think your son will be incapable of thinking a woman is as able as he is. Yes, I'm judging your parenting skills.

He also says something about how the boyfriend of one of his teenaged daughter's friend said something about how another friend looked hot, and that it "took a week for the tension to dissipate," and this is another reason women will never be CEOs. What? I'm sorry, but seriously, how are you writing for Forbes magazine when you're obviously an idiot? Claiming a teenage girl is rational is like claiming a teenage boy has control over his penis. I've been a teenage girl, hormones make you wacky, but you grow out of it.

He continues on to talk about social pressures. How women who don't sacrifice everything for their kids, husbands, house, etc, are judged and found wanting. Again, how is this an okay excuse? Women exist to be more than just a wife, a mother, a housekeeper. Unless she's neglecting her children entirely, what is wrong with hiring a nanny? Or a maid, for that matter? I assume any woman in the position of thinking about becoming a CEO would be making enough to afford those things. Or, for that matter, what is wrong with the father staying home when the child is sick on the day she has that big meeting and he has no commitments he can't afford to miss? Why is the onus on her to be the responsible parent?

And then he talks about appearance. If a woman is attractive, men will objectify her, make jokes and comments about her appearance. If one day, that attractive woman looks less attractive than normal, note will be taken, and it might hurt her when the time comes to promote someone.

Or, if she's unattractive, she'll just be flat-out ignored. How is that okay? I really want to know how you can use that as an excuse for this being okay. How someone who has a daughter, I would hope a daughter he hopes is successful in any career she chooses, can have such a defeatist attitude about... everything.

Just because "that's the way it is" doesn't mean that's the way it should be. And that's what the article is arguing. It says this is how it is, it's bad, it's unfortunate, my son will probably grow up to perpetuate it, but too bad, that's how it is.

I refuse to accept that, and goddamn do I ever hope every other woman going into business also refuses to accept that, and that more men going into business also refuse to accept that.

His final paragraph ends:

Yes, women have advanced a great deal in the business world. Unfortunately, the business world hasn’t advanced along with them. I’m not sure this will change anytime soon. Because remember: MY son and his idiot friends are the up and coming generation. It ain’t pretty.

Child-rearing. You're doing it wrong.

2011-11-02T15:26:00.000-07:00

According to the latest Real Talk on the Gloss, entitled Men Tell Us If They Judge You By How Many Sexual Partners You've Had, the majority of those questioned agree on a strange, arbitrary number of fifteen, or possibly one for every year since you've been sexually active. I assume whichever comes first.

Do I even need to say how infuriating that is to me? I'm not even trying to claim I've gone over the "magic number" - to be honest, my experience is relatively small - so this isn't even a personal type of anger. But it ties into this ridiculously puritan idea that virginity is purity, and purity is goodness, and goodness and innocence is what is desired in a long-term partner. And that is stupid.

Basically, what it comes down to is the idea that sex is, in some way, dirty. That having it makes you unclean somehow. And I guess you can argue that it can be physically messy, but that does not (should not) translate into spiritual uncleanliness. But, again, this almost always only applies to women. How many times do you see a man bragging about how many women he's slept with? How many women do you see bragging about how many men she's slept with?

I mean, they even call it the "walk of shame." A woman has a one-night stand with some (apparent) douchebag, and the rest of the guys high-five him while jeering at her. Is that not the most painfully awful and obvious double standard?

It's like that AskMen top ten thing, the top ten signs you're too good for her, where number nine (I think) was "she's good in bed." The idea being that if she's good in bed, she's had enough experience to know what she's doing, which means she's had too much experience and is somehow... not worthy of you. And yet, the entire site is dedicated to getting these guys laid. It's so ridiculous.

I mean, does any guy really want to sleep with a girl who doesn't know what she's doing? Is it somehow better sex when it's bad sex? Are you seriously ever going to hear "Yeah, she's great, she just lays there like a starfish when we have sex. It's so awesome. I like the part where she cried best?"

Yeah, no, I don't really think that's likely.

So really, I have to wonder why in the hell this would ever matter to anyone. One person, a hundred people, as long as someone is safe about it and enjoying themselves, who cares? It's not your business who they've done as long as they're not giving you an incurable (or even a curable) disease as a result. If someone is great, they make you laugh, you can talk about anything from the absurd to deep philosophical questions, and they think you're great, too, then are you really going to be bothered by the fact they may have slept with more than the arbitrary number of people you've deemed the "acceptable" amount?

God, I hope not, or else you're freaking stupid.

2011-11-01T16:23:00.000-07:00

I'm relatively certain it's obvious, but I am pretty okay with the gay, shall I say? (Sorry, once I started I couldn't stop the rhymes.) It is apparently a family trend, because my great-grandmother liked to tell a story about her mother's two "bachelor" friends: she asked her mom why two such nice men had never married, and her mother had just smiled and replied, "You'll understand when you're older." That was back in the 1920s, so my great-great-grandmother was apparently awesomely accepting for the time.

So I grew up with my mother having gay friends, and my uncle having a gay roommate, and it was never a thing. I literally didn't know about homophobia until I moved to Vancouver when I was 11, and I was shocked that some people didn't think it was normal. (I was a really naive kid.)

And that has always bothered me. A lot. Like, I was ridiculously shy throughout high school (social anxiety disorder will do that to you), but the few times I would actually join a debate in class was when it was on gay rights (or gender equality. I had an argument with my grade 11 English teacher about wage parity, and his argument was, "teachers all get the same pay." TEACHERS ARE UNIONIZED, JERK FACE. Good teacher otherwise, so possibly he was just trying to make me think about my argument. I think the fact my mother was receiving less pay than her equally-educated, equally-experienced, and lower-graded male colleagues was a pretty damn good example, BUT WHAT DO I KNOW).

My point is, though, that I have always, always hated bullying. For anything. I was bullied a lot throughout elementary school, for things beyond my control (looks, height, haircut (parents decided it should be short because I whined too much brushing it when it was long), shyness, being new and having no friends because I didn't know anyone (and being pretty guaranteed not to have any once the bully made it clear anyone talking to me would get the same treatment), etc), and I tend to have a bit of a temper, so it would always set me off when someone, possibly innocently, said something demeaning about gay people, such as my favourite: "I don't hate gays, I just think they're gross!"

Oh, well, that's okay then. Let's try it with other groups of people! "I don't hate Asians, I just think they're taking jobs from smart white people!" "I don't hate black people, I just think they're stupid!" Those don't sound racist at all. But it's okay, because you're saying you don't hate them. This is fun. "I don't hate women who have sex outside of marriage, I just think they're sluts!" "I don't hate men who decide to be primary caretakers of their children, I just think they're emasculated and therefore not real men!"

SO MUCH FUN. Everyone try it! It's okay, you're not being a bigot because you're saying you don't hate them!

Anyhow, this was inspired by the comments on an LA Times article about the school district's superintendent calling out the adults who are phoning the school to complain about the election of a lesbian and her girlfriend as prom king and queen. Grown-ass adults calling in to bitch and whine about something that has nothing to do with them whatsoever.

And the comments, again, oh my god. It's one of those feeds that are connected to Facebook, so other people can "like" comments, and some of the comments that have the most likes are the most hateful things.

What's going on down there? Are there no males in that part of San Diego? Are we expected to redefine words king and queen as well?

45 likes.

I agree, this makes the guys at the school look like wimps. I guess the best man they could find in the school was a woMAN.

A reply to that, 27 likes.

Another reply goes on about heterophobia, why are gays allowed to marginalize straight people? Damn those gays and all their goddamn entitlement issues. I mean, what gives them the idea that they should be able to love who they want? Only straight people deserve that right, and saying anything about how gay people should be able to marry who they want is bullying and discriminating against straight people. Or something, fuck if I know what this person means about heterophobia. Blah blah, something about the BIBLE.

2011-10-30T16:19:00.001-07:00

So I've been sick for the past two and a half weeks now. It's basically an ache in my chest, all across the front, with the soreness focused in the centre of my breastbone. I didn't think it was related to my lungs or my heart, but I figured chest pain isn't something to mess around with, since no other symptoms of a chest cold showed up (I haven't been coughing at all, and the sore throat is only from the swollen glands which have currently replaced my tonsils in the back of my throat), I gave in and went to the doctor.

He confirmed my heart and lungs were okay, but what he thought (I suppose it's impossible to tell without like, tests and stuff) it is is that cartilage in my chest, the stuff between my ribs, is inflamed due to a viral infection, which is why he couldn't prescribe antibiotics (which only work against bacteria, of course). So he said all I can do is rest and take something for the pain.

Great, right? That was a week and a half ago, and it hasn't gone away yet. If anything, it's gotten worse. The pain is more sharp now, rather than a dull ache. Walking a block from the bus stop to work feels like being poked with sharp sticks for hours after. A freaking block.

It's like the universe was like "Hey, I hear your cousin just got heart surgery. I'm going to give you a very vague idea of what it feels like, so you can be grateful it isn't worse!"

You know what, Universe, I was already sympathetic to Sara's situation! You are just being a jerk now.

Edit: Aha! Found the likely culprit: Costochondritis. "Viral: Costochondritis commonly occurs with viral respiratory infections because of the inflammation of costochondral junctions from the viral infection itself."

2011-10-29T11:05:00.000-07:00

I was reading the World of Warcraft forums, and came across a thread about a guild leader who, along with most of his raiders and all of his officers, most of his guild, in fact, had decided to go dormant for a while, who came back from dormancy to find that he, and all of his original guild members, had been kicked from his guild. A low-level there-for-perks member had petitioned for ownership of the guild, been granted it, and had kicked everyone out.

Which sucks, for sure. I mean, that guild got totally ninja'd, and dormancy isn't an excuse for losing everything in the guild, from the bank contents to the guild rep to the guild perks. But the policy is important for when guild leaders genuinely abandon the majority of the guild, so it wouldn't be a good solution to get rid of the policy. Possibly enstate a rule where, if someone petitions about losing a guild, the game masters can check to see if the new leader had just taken over, or if they had kicked everyone. First is fine, second is clearly not.

But that wasn't what bothered me. What bothered me was people who say things like "you pay $15 a month, they don't care about your one subscription."

And this is an attitude that you see a lot on the forums of games, games you pay to play. The idea that your one subscription isn't cared about, because they have millions more. And as such, you shouldn't expect any level of customer service, because when you get right down to it, they're doing you a favour!

That is, quite frankly, wrong. I've worked at a few businesses, and the one thing they have in common? They want to retain and add to their customer base. They do not want to lose any customers for any reason. Obviously, losing some is an inevitability because you can't please everyone, but they do their best to avoid losing more than just a few.

Would you ever say to a customer at your restaurant, or a student at your school, or anyone paying you for a service that you don't care if they're dissatisfied - you have other customers. No, of course you wouldn't. Nor does Blizzard, and it's stupid of people to think or act like they ever would. They're providing a service that you pay for. They aren't doing you a favour. You are the customer (though I definitely do not agree with the idea that the customer is always right (because a lot of the customers are fucking morons)).

I'm sure (or at least, I hope) most of the people who work on the game do it because they love it, they're also doing it because they get paid. So, you know, they do care if you want to unsubscribe over something, and that is why you get Game Masters who try to resolve any issues you might have, and developers who try to make things new and fun (and who occasionally fail, as with Cataclysm. Sigh. Damn you, un-fun PvE unbalancing PvP to a ridiculous scale!).

So don't act like they're this magical business providing you with a fun game out of the goodness of their hearts, and as such you're an ungrateful bastard for expressing dissatisfaction with something that inconvenienced you on any scale. Everyone who pays has the right to an opinion. They don't have a right to enact game-changing policies themselves, but by golly, they do have the right to make the point if one isn't working.

2011-10-27T17:07:00.000-07:00

Google's (relatively) new auto-site-complete thing is often amusing. Googling "making avi files look better" first guessed something quite different:

The third result is a huge stretch. I just think it shows the internet's obsession with the backdoor lovin'!

It's so funny to me that every other result has "making love" or "make love" directly in the page titles, and then there's AskMen (my favourite site!) and anal...

2011-10-26T12:54:00.000-07:00

It has been a while since I updated, hasn't it? I think that's the longest I've gone without updating without being in a foreign country.

The problem is that I'm just not really feeling it. I haven't found anything to write about that you guys seem to find interesting. And I don't want to write about boring stuff that no one cares about, because, well, no one cares about it. If I wanted to write just for me, I would have a diary, not a blog. And so, here we are, with me writing nothing instead. I'm not conceited enough to think you're all pining away without my blog to read, though. Haha.

No really does mean no, not try harder

2011-10-18T14:13:00.000-07:00

One of the comics I read, Girls With Slingshots, has recently started a bit of an arc with a hopeless-with-women guy being, I dunno, "trained" not to be. I'm personally pretty neutral about the whole thing. You really do get people (both male and female) who are utterly terrible at the Dating Game. Myself being one of them (although not in the same way as the character in question who thinks "no" means "try harder").

But apparently, this has created quite the hullabaloo in the comments on the author's (unrelated) news posts, which made her write a new post about all the comments, so I had to go and read the comments. And while most were reasonable comments from both possible sides (that a "go-away" look is/should be effective versus actually saying "go away"), some were just facepalmy.

In response to this comment:

Most of the time they’re just shy and have never talked to a girl, have gotten terrible advice from somebody else (ie. a jerky older brother, a terrible lying friend who wanted to sound great) or they learned how to deal with women from watching… *sighs* porn. I mean really, why is it that so many men think that porn is a good teaching tool to learn about women, relationships and sex?!

Which was very clearly about a specific subset of socially inept men that the commenter had dealt with, someone else responded:

I don’t think men think that porn is a good teaching tool. I think that men watch it because it’s one of the few places that they can see a woman who appears enthusiastic about being in the same room with a man.

Really? I mean, honestly, do you really think that? Do you actually, honest-to-god think you're the only female (the commenter had a female name) who is sane and down-to-earth and just "one of the guys?" Has it never occurred to you that your male friends (since I don't see anyone who thinks that way about other women having any female friends) just have awful taste in women and you only get exposed to the crazy ones?

I mean, I'm totally not denying there are women out there who are man-hating-yet-man-hungry, or just man-hating, or just man-hungry, or whatever combination of anything. Some women really are batshit crazy. So are some men. Batshit-crazy hatred-of-opposite-gender is not an exclusively female trait. I see way more men with a seething hatred of women than I do women with a seething hatred of men, and this includes specifically-feminist-oriented sites.

We all know someone (or even multiple someones!) who are just completely off their rocker, and I'll bet they're not all women.

And I think men watch it because it's an effective aid to masturbation more than anything else. Wait! I mean, for the stories.

Another type of comment is the "No, really, women who express disinterest are more often encouraging you to try harder than not!" See:

yeah… as a man, you can’t let that look stop you. and 60% of the time, that look is just a test to see if you have the stones to keep trying.

Yeah, no. It's like that "joke" you hear sometimes: Man walks up to a woman in a club and says, "hey, wanna dance?" She says, "no." He replies "I'm sorry, you must have misheard me. I said 'you look fat in those pants.' " LOL hilarious, right? Get rejected so you reply with an insult. But hey, she didn't want to dance with him, so she's a bitch who deserves to be insulted, right? Yeah.

That, and the fact that actually saying "no" has quite often been ineffective and left me and friends being followed around by some idiot who won't believe that "no means no," or that "I'm married, fuck off" means no (this happened to a friend, not even joking. His reply: "I don't mind."), means glaring, plus thereafter ignoring them, is probably the easiest route to take. It's definitely less confrontational, and if you pretend someone doesn't exist for long enough they eventually realize they have to take their erection somewhere else.

This quote pretty much says it all, for me:

[...] But look at the ways we punish women who do–tell someone you’re not interested, and suddenly you’re a bitch, whereas the guy who is pushing your boundaries is just “persistent.”

I have had a couple of people ask me out online. I was quite clear in both cases that I was not interested, and would never be interested, but I was nice about it. I mean, it takes guts to ask someone out, even if it's online, so being a bit mean isn't really called for.

Saying "no, I'm not interested, and that won't ever change" didn't help. They both persisted in their interest, getting MORE aggressive after I said no. One of them flat-out told me that because I was nice about it, it meant he still had a chance.

And how the hell do you deal with that? Just because they're both kind of idiots doesn't mean they deserve me telling them I think they're kind of ugly and I don't ever want to see them naked. I don't think they should have their egos crushed, because that's my personal opinion and they shouldn't be made afraid to ask out someone who does think they're attractive.

Being nice and completely, 100% clear apparently means "please, I need more convincing. DRAW ME MORE OFTEN AND/OR WRITE ME MORE POETRY." Being mean and completely, 100% clear would make me a bitch. Can't win either way.

Note: it's been five to six years, and they BOTH still bring up their continued interest in me.

So I guess I'm pretty much saying that you should ALWAYS assume that "no" means "no." Always. If a woman (or a man, let's be fair) says "I'm not interested," you should just take them at their word. If they said "no" and meant "yes," then it's their own damn fault for trying to play mind games, and they deserve to miss out on whatever they wanted just because they were propagating the completely-wrong idea that "no sometimes means yes" that is so often used to excuse rape and other abuses.

Sometimes we won't like hearing "I'm just not interested," but trying to change that person's mind is dumb. Take them at their word, and move on...

Just try to be safe, okay?

2011-10-16T14:17:00.000-07:00

The cousin of a friend, a logger on the Sunshine Coast where my mother grew up, was reported missing and suspected drowned a few days ago. He was attaching lines to a log boom (they basically look like giant versions of those rafts you see in cartoons made up of trees tied together) and fell into the water.

It's tragic, but that isn't the point of this post, because what do most people care about some logger? Realistically, I mean, beyond saying "oh, that's sad."

The thing that bothers me is you KNOW there are going to be some people, who probably have the best intentions in mind, who will say to his family "it's too bad he wasn't wearing his lifejacket."

And yes, that's true. I can't deny that a lifejacket could have saved his life. No one can. But aside from the insensitivity of implying to someone that one slip-up means he had to pay the ultimate price, the reality is that no one expects it to be them. Ever.

Statistically, it's unlikely you'll be in a car accident, so you use that as an excuse for not wearing one. Well, it wasn't any more likely for the person involved in one, either. You might trust your driver, but do you trust every driver on every road? It takes two vehicles to be in a collision, and only one has to be doing something wrong. And you know what? Momentum doesn't give a shit if you think that seatbelt is uncomfortable. It's going to throw you out the window just the same.

(I had more examples when I wrote this in my head last night, but I was also really fascinated by the spot of moonlight on the end of my bed (hurray for being feverish), and this is the only one I remember because it's so obvious.)

And you see it all the time, especially in physical labour jobs where there's more opportunity for deadly accidents. The "I know what I'm doing." "I'll just be there for a moment." "I've done it before and nothing's happened." People know something can happen, but they never, ever think it will happen to them.

No one expects to cross a street and get hit by a turning car. No one expects to encounter that drunk driver. No one expects to fall into the ocean and get caught by an undertow. We're all a little irresponsible sometimes. No one deserves to die for it, and saying to the loved ones of someone who did that it could have been avoided if they'd taken that obvious precaution is smug and insensitive. They know.

What is this I don't even

2011-10-13T14:38:00.000-07:00

There is an article on some site called XOJane (no, I've never read it, don't have any idea what it's actually about) entitled (and subtitled) this:

GET IT TOGETHER, GIRLS: Every Goddamn Pharmacy in New York is Out of Plan B! Every ONE!
Yeah, I don't want to go on the Pill or wear condoms either, but it's like ... come ON.

...

Obviously I read about this on The Gloss, whose ladywriters seem mostly sane and fun, as opposed to the crazywriter on that other site.

Seriously, read her post and boggle along with me. She goes through various forms of birth control options for avoiding pregnancy (note there is absolutely no reference to STIs).

No, she can't do the pulling-out method, because she prefers they come inside her! Because... umm, she likes the thrill of risking pregnancy knowing she's not taking any other BC method?

No, birth control pills will make her fat and give her acne! Ignoring the fact there are many different pills available, with varying side effects. Oh! And then she goes on to say they don't work! BUT THAT SHE DIDN'T TAKE THEM PROPERLY. Isn't that like saying "my fork doesn't work for picking up food, but that's probably because I'm holding it by the end with the prongs and trying to stab it with the handle."? I.E. incredibly moronic? Oh, but then she goes on to say the only pills she remembers to take are drugs that will make her high.

No, she can't do the Depo-Provera shot because it will also make her fat and pimple-ridden!

No, she can't do condoms because she doesn't sleep with many people? Forgive me if I'm wrong, I'm a girl and therefore really bad at math, right? But doesn't it only take one person with an STI to infect you? Or one person to make you pregnant?

Yes, she can have abortions and has had many. Wait, what? Okay, seriously at this point I'm just not even sure how she's managed to get this article of hers posted anywhere serious, so I'm assuming the site is one of those ridiculous pulp online sites that tries to be shocking and just makes you cringe. Because seriously, lady, if you feel so incredibly horrible every time you have an abortion, maybe you should start using effective birth control methods. Crazy thought, I know...

Yes, she could use a diaphragm and has before but like, dude, why would she want to because she has Plan B!

Oh wait, no she doesn't, because apparently the article isn't about how really fucking stupid this woman is, but about how all the pharmacies in New York are out of Plan B. And I agree, that's pretty bad. It should be available when you need it. Even if you're an incredibly stupid woman-child who uses it as her only form of birth control.

But, again, the writers on the Gloss who actually seem sane and reasonable said it really well:

But that’s not all the staff of XO Jane is doing in running this article. What they are doing is dangerous in ways I don’t think they even took the time to consider.
Why? Because when legislation gets passed about birth control, people who want to outlaw it look at articles like Cat’s one, on this very popular women’s site that caters to a “demographic 18-49″ (so, the kind of who might need birth control) and think “well, the women who use Plan B are just irresponsible idiots who don’t deserve the privilege.”

Yes! I mean, for me this point is mostly moot, because I'm in Canada and all those American anti-not-being-pregnant laws don't affect me, but I do have enough female American friends who will be affected by those laws, and I kind of like them and find the number of attempts at restricting their rights rather horrifying.

Seriously, though. I have zero problem with women sleeping around all they want, and she is (technically, although she doesn't act like it) an adult who is capable of making her own decisions, I am absolutely appalled at how incredibly irresponsible she is. She is obviously aware that sexually transmitted infections (yes, that's the new term for STDs, this is why I'm using it) exist, because she says she was shocked she didn't get any in her "slutty" diaphragm-using years. And she is obviously aware that having sex without protection gets you pregnant, because she also states she's had multiple abortions. But apparently, every form of birth control except Plan B is "too hard" or she just doesn't want to and you can't make her use it!

Is it really that difficult to talk to a doctor and ask them for a pill that doesn't make you fat or give you acne? I didn't get fat (unless you ask Micheal, the bastard), and the pill I was on makes my skin better. And taking them properly? I assume most people have cell phones they never leave the house without nowadays. Set your phone's alarm to whatever time you want to take them every day (Noon? 6pm? Whatever time you normally wake up?), and if you forget then you're probably suffering from some sort of brain damage.

Aargh, this article is just so ridiculous. Have fun with your herpes, idiot!

They say ignorance is bliss

2011-10-12T15:03:00.001-07:00

Here is 20 minutes of my life I will never get back:

Basically, one of Kelsey's friends who seems determined to remain woefully ignorant (it's more fun to say outlandishly wrong things about something you know nothing about except for obviously biased propoganda!) used the video above to say something ridiculous about how national healthcare really is.

(Note to Kelsey: I'm sorry for insulting your friend. Hopefully he's nicer when he isn't acting like a retarded ignorant American stereotype who believes his "personal freedoms" will be infringed upon if people have access to healthcare. If not, uh, well, hopefully he at least flatters you a lot so there's a reason to keep him on your Facebook?)

You might notice an important thing about the above video if you are from Canada. It's set in Quebec.

Another important thing to note: Medicare is provincially run. Not federally. So the fact that the one clinic they went to in whatever city in Quebec they went to was closed on the one day they went does not reflect upon Canada as a whole, or even on Quebec as a whole, but that one. Single. Clinic.

As for the emergency room thing? One, they're assholes for going into an emergency room with a fake injury and potentially making people with actual, legitimate injuries wait longer than they otherwise should have. Two, of course they weren't a priority. Some young man, obviously in no distress by tone and body language, complaining about a sore wrist from falling off his skateboard is going to be low on the list of "things that really need to be taken care of" because it's most likely a sprain. People who are bleeding, or are in obvious distress, are OF COURSE going to be prioritized about a young male whining about his wrist hurting. I don't understand why that was even an issue.

A larger sampling of, well, everyone I know who has ever gone to a clinic or an emergency room tells a quite different story than some entitled young American trying to prove that socialized health care is the devil.

The clinic I go to is open seven days a week. The longest I've waited was an hour, and that was because I was just there to get my birth control prescription renewed and there were legitimately sick people let in ahead of me. This is how it should be. I was not suffering because I couldn't get a prescription renewed. I once had to go to the emergency room. I was not there for more than a couple of hours. The doctors and nurses were polite and efficient, they treated the obviously higher priority people before me, and again... this is how it should be. That tiny old woman in her 80s probably needs more care than I do in my mid-20s.

I think the best example I could give for the argument FOR health care is my cousin's story. She had to go to the clinic three times before they found out what was wrong with her. Do you think she'd have kept going if she was paying hundreds of dollars each time? Considering she needed to get a valve in her heart replaced, it's a damn good thing she was able to.

But my biggest issue, the absolute BIGGEST issue I have with that attempt at demonizing health care is this: had they chosen to wait, they would have received the care they (hadn't) needed. Saying "You have to wait!" is NOT in any way, shape, or form saying that the system is a failure.

I hope you break your wrist in the States, ignorant video guy, and that you don't have any health insurance to cover its costs. I'll bet waiting between two to ten hours would sound damn good then.

Edited to add my reply on Kelsey's post:

Using Quebec as an example of everywhere in Canada's medical system would be like using the Southern States as the example for racism everywhere in America.

That is, wrong and misleading.

2011-10-11T19:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, guys, guess what? Women aren't funny!

Yeah, I understand it has "Provocation" written right above the title, but still, this irks me. I don't think I'm a comedian by any stretch of the imagination, but I do know I can make people laugh when I try. Maybe it's the subject matter that's the difference. Dick jokes versus clothing malfunction jokes. I don't know...

Another article elsewhere is mainly the author asking what "settling for someone" means.

Accepting a loveless relationship because you feel like you "have to"
Accepting a relationship with someone you - and other people in your life - feel you could do better than
Accepting a relationship with someone who doesn't strike you as "perfect" for you, despite outwardly good qualities
I don't believe in this settling, I'll take pretty much anyone with a pulse who will be a warm body in bed at night

For me, it's 2. But I suppose this is a personal thing, because a lot of people chose 1, as well. It's the same as settling for anything, right? Accepting something you know you can do better than, but not wanting to put in the effort to find it. If you have a great job you love, it's not settling even if it's not being an astronaut like you dreamed of as a kid, because it's still a great job you love. But if you hate your job and still want to be an astronaut, but don't want to put in the years of effort, you're settling.

If that makes sense?

I definitely don't think that if the person you're with isn't "perfect" that you're settling, but I also think I covered that in a previous post. People aren't perfect, and waiting for perfection just means you're going to be disappointed over and over again.

Things that amused me recently

2011-10-10T20:32:00.000-07:00

One of the torrent sites I use has a new "pop under" feature. It usually features "Canada's #1 online gambling site!" but occasionally it's things like this:

Free for women? That doesn't seem fair! And seriously, could that guy look like more of a douche?

Most of the time, autocorrects I get sent are just a little confusing, and not as funny as those on Damn You Autocorrect, except for a couple of recent ones:

The first quite literally had me speechless at first. It's great your day is easy, but I don't need to know how you're spending it if that's what you're doing! Haha.

I know "feminist" is a dirty word, but maybe I like being talked dirty to!

2011-10-10T13:28:00.000-07:00

Somehow, in the past few days, I've had a lot of discussions about feminism with various people. Today, my coworker showed me this trailer for a documentary film called "Miss Representation."

Miss Representation 8 min. Trailer 8/23/11 from Miss Representation on Vimeo.
It's nine minutes, but it was interesting.

What struck me the most out of the entire video was the opening sequence where it showed images from ads, music videos, and TV shows, all in a row. You see an ad featuring a naked lady, and you just kind of shrug and move on. You see a music video with a woman writhing around in a bikini, and just think that's what music videos have in them.

But putting them all together in a row like that makes you realize just how saturated the media is with those kinds of images. I know it probably makes me sound a little naive when I say this, but the sheer number surprised me. Maybe it's because I don't really watch TV or read magazines, and have AdBlock on my Firefox. And I don't watch many music videos made recently, because I don't listen to the music. So I supposed I'm a little insulated from the amount that are actually out there.

And obviously, those numbers are of American youth, but although Canada differs in many of our values, there is a lot of crossover in terms of media. Like, tons. We get your channels, your commercials, your magazines, your music videos.

My coworker is a teacher (well, when she can get substitute positions - obviously she's not full-time teaching if she's still my coworker!), and she mentioned how the schools in the area she's teaching in now do a class where they sit and talk about commercials and media with the point of teaching the kids to think about them critically, and not take them at face value.

And I think that is a really, really good idea. I don't think it was necessary when I was at that age - there wasn't as much blatant sex everywhere on TV in 1995 as there is now. I'm not saying there was none, obviously. But watching even rap videos from the 90s, their "bitches and hos" are more covered up than they are now. Pop music stars weren't quite as naked, but then, the grunge movement was still making flannels and boy jeans cool.

But now, with the things they see on TV, kids definitely need to be taught mechanisms for interpreting the images they see. Not all kids will be getting that kind of lesson at home. Reality TV is especially heinous. Things like "Real Housewives" where most of the women are backstabbing, or "Jersey Shore" where the guys just try to get laid and the girls just try to look hot. And there will definitely be kids watching these shows, because so many parents don't monitor what their children watch.

Things that are implied have just as much effect on a developing mind as things that are stated outright. You see images that are all about how women look, not who they are, and you're going to start making assumptions that appearance is the most important thing. And it's not. Being good-looking can help, but it's not going to help you get that degree, or your dream job, or the perfect boyfriend.

Your teachers aren't going to grade your test easier because you're pretty.

That job interviewer is not going to hire you without the required degree and if you can't behave properly in an interview.

The perfect boyfriend, well... lots of guys just want a pretty girl, sure, but if you're also crazy and stupid he won't want you for more than sex unless he is also crazy and stupid, and then he's not really perfect, right? I like to assume most normal guys want someone they can actually converse with when they're not having sex. If that's all a relationship has, well, um, it's not going to last.

So, yeah. I need to keep an eye out for that documentary to become available, because it looks quite interesting.

2011-10-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

I like tea. I mostly drink black tea, but I also like green and white teas.

My coworker is from China, and like I said in a previous post, she's super sweet. She brought me some tea from China that's supposed to promote health and luck since she heard I like black tea.

And I don't even remember what it's called, but it is so tasty. It has an almost caramel flavour to it, a natural sweetness. It's in little lumps that look like bark, and doesn't really smell of much dry. But yum! I am definitely going to have to ask her where I can find it.

2011-10-09T16:36:00.000-07:00

I just bought a new computer and it is very nice and I like it a lot.

I can now play World of Warcraft on ultra settings, that is, super high-quality graphics settings, and as such, I whined at Micheal until he agreed to come along to Karazhan with me so I could see it with all its stained-glass windows and paintings and things in actual, good detail.

And it was pretty! I mean, that's pretty much what I've been saying since I first logged on using my new computer - "everything is so pretty!" But there was one painting that kept showing up everywhere in Karazhan.


Both of these, actually, but I'm specifically talking about the one on the right.

Are those... manboobs? That guy has more cleavage that I've ever been able to get.

2011-10-08T15:46:00.001-07:00

The United Nations has put out a report on the status of women throughout the world, and I have to say, there are many reasons I enjoy my country, not least of which is the fact that BC is beautiful, but the fact that it is legislated and enforced that I am equal to men in every way and have legal recourse if I am in any way discriminated against is another enormous one (plus healthcare. Yeeeeah socialized health care!).

The state of affairs for women in some countries is absolutely appalling.

Page 34.

For example, here, domestic violence. Of those countries, Canada has the third fewest people saying beating your wife is sometimes justifiable. This is reassuring. Not so reassuring? The US has (estimating) around 15% of its population thinking it's sometimes okay to beat your wife. Considering how massive the American population is, that's a lot of people. Want to bet most of them are from the South? Don't worry, though, you're still doing better than Germany!

Darnit, forgot to include what those numbers mean. OH WELL.

We're doing better than women in, say, Africa, where female genital mutilation is still done, and rape is still considered something people just do.

There is more I could write, but I am sad about these women while simultaneously really effin' happy to be Canadian.

2011-10-07T14:28:00.000-07:00

Occasionally, someone finds my blog through a search engine. The vast majority of these are from someone searching for Royal Roads University, Hatley Castle, or Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters (these are all the same place).

I was looking at my traffic sources, most of which seem to be this weird pu.gg thing lately and only Russians, and the search term that led them here?

fat woman big breast nude picture

I am sure they were very disappointed, because I have none of those things available on my blog. Sorry, dude (I assume dude)! Try image searches next time.

See, this is proof that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. While we're definitely inundated with images of super slender women who somehow also have breasts (hax), it doesn't mean that is everyone's physical ideal. It's good to remember that regardless of shape, someone out there will find it worth looking at naked, large, thin, pear-shaped, stick-shaped, big hips, no hips, big boobs, no boobs, etc etc, and any combination thereof.

Just have to try to find them!

2011-10-06T15:34:00.000-07:00

So I was reading this article about how someone at 24 is having trouble finding a doctor to perform a tubal ligation on her because they keep telling her she'll regret it when she's older.

In my opinion, that's not likely. Some people just know they don't want kids, and they don't want to spend the money on various birth control, or need to keep to a certain schedule for another. You slip up, and whoops, pregnant. I wonder if asking the doctors whether they think a tubal ligation or an abortion is worse and seeing how they'd respond?

Anyway, that's not my point of this article, but again, comments on it. I know, I know... they're the reason for most of my posts lately. If you have better ideas on what I should write about, feel free to share. Until then, suck it up!

It’s understandable that the author would fail to realize something important about this decision, but many of the commenters are old enough to know better: When you are 24, you are borderline mentally disabled. It is for this reason that a 24 yo should avoid making any decision that has a permanency to it. Don’t get tattoos, don’t get married, and for god’s sake don’t get your tubes tied.

What? No, this isn't true. Yes, there is research showing that men are less intelligent in their early 20s than in their later 20s (something to do with the literal urge to reproduce, or at least practice the act, moving resources from the "thinking" part of the brain to the "fucking" part), but this is not true of women. And even if it were true, I don't see how this affects their knowledge of whether or not they want to have kids. Some people just really don't want kids. Really, they don't, not ever.

I think someone's comment said it best:

Which is worse: Regretting not having kids or regretting having kids?

Can't have kids but want to? Adopt. Have kids but don't want to? ...

My coworker is so sweet!

2011-10-04T23:41:00.000-07:00

My pinky finger always likes to go off on its own. It's a rebel!

She just got some things sent to her from China, so she wanted to give everyone a little gift. It's a magnet pen for your fridge, so it's handy when you make a grocery list!

Hurray!

2011-10-04T18:02:00.000-07:00

Most important things first. I have finally called the travel agent and booked my trip to the Dominican Republic! I am very excited, because I will be warm! In January!! This is the best thing EVAR because I hate being cold. But I am also pretty nervous, because I won't really know anyone except Sara and her parents and siblings. And I'm sure her friends are super nice people (after all, she's nice people), the whole social anxiety thing makes it a little tough. It's the biggest reason I kept joking about needing a date! Social safety net.

(PS still time to reconsider. ;) )

But nah, it'll be good, as long as I don't get tossed into a group of like 20 people at once. It's just a little daunting, but nowhere near as bad as starting work for the first time. For the first few months I was working at Subway were pretty hellish pits of stress filled with coming home and being sick for hours and doing it all over again.

But that was years ago, and now I can talk to strangers without being anything more than slightly awkward.

Moving on! For some reason, the Gloss is all about plastic surgery lately and have two of their "real talks" up: one asking women what kind of plastic surgery they'd get, and another asking men if they like fake breasts.

First up, women: mostly breasts. Small implants to give cleavage where there is none. I don't really think that's surprising, considering how much emphasis seems to be put on boobs being the be-all and the end-all of physical attractiveness. And don't even say it's not true. I've been small-chested my entire life, and I have always felt self-conscious about them because of the idea that women need T&A and I only had the A. And I don't think having more A compensates for having less T.

The woman on the final slide, though.

Fuck no. It's immoral. And it's weak. And it's disgusting. And it LOOKS disgusting, which makes it all the more absurd. Also, anyone who claims she's doing it "for herself" is a lying sack of shit who's willing to permanently alter her body so 13-year-olds on web forums will find her less ugly. Fuck that.

Someone quite close to me has implants. No one except those of us around during her initial recovery and a later corrective surgery (decades later) know about them because you can't tell. I was honestly shocked when I found out. They look disgusting if you get those ridiculous ones that stretch the skin between, or just sit perched on your chest like they're separate. But most women don't go for those because most women aren't porn stars in the "big boobs" category. And she did do it for herself, because she had similar issues about her breast size that I do, and it really increased her confidence. If something like that DOES matter to you, it can actually help your self-esteem.

I wouldn't get them because I am a wimp. If I had the money, though, I'd totally say "screw wimpness" and get my broken nose fixed, because I hate it with the fire of a thousand suns. It is hideous and I kind of hate six-year-old me for being a stupid moron in the first place. WAY TO GO, STUPID LITTLE KID.

So fuck you, woman in the final slide, for being a judgmental bitch. I hope you hate on tattoos and haircuts and waxing/shaving, since those are also altering your self and your appearance. In the case of tattoos, also permanently.

Comments predictably terrible. One that struck me, though?

I like how creative a woman with smaller breasts can be to get a man to both notice and like them.

Ouch. I mean, seriously. Hit us where it hurts. Women with smaller breasts need to work harder to be noticed? Isn't this pretty much exactly why so many of those women said they'd get implants, because they don't feel their boobs are as liked as larger ones? Aw, man. Can't flirt, can't act dumb, small boobs... And the list grows again!

For the men: It's mostly "yay any boobs!" Also not a surprising result, I suppose. But one guy says he'd reconsider marrying a girl with implants in case she turned into a crazy with terrible self-esteem. Because there's no way anyone without implants would ever turn crazy with terrible self-esteem? I know that's not true!

And again, the last slide is also the worst person.

Breasts jobs are good from a relationship standpoint because they show that a woman is invested in keeping herself looking good. She probably won't get fat later!

What? No. I mean, maybe in some cases? But not in all of them. And like, dude... if "not getting fat later" is all you require from a relationship, you're pretty darn shallow.

I just never learn

2011-10-03T15:32:00.000-07:00

Man, internet comments. Why do I read them? I never do on YouTube! But I seem to have this weird need to read comments left on news articles. Am I reading something on the CBC's website about, I dunno, bear or cougar (not that kind, Micheal) attacks? Or a hockey game? I read the comments and it's just like "STOP KILLING THESE ANIMALS OMG." And yes, the reason bears and cougars are coming into towns and cities are after prey (when cougars are in Victoria, they're after our city deer - seriously, deer wander the streets of most of Saanich. They're annoying pests!), or garbage, and that is definitely something we can fix. But in the case of when these animals attack a human? They're going to keep on doing it. That's just how animals work. Something that's prey is going to remain prey, and they're going to keep attacking.

As for the hockey game comments, well, it's all trash talking, and it's funny because we all know the Canucks are the best hockey team.

Anyway, this isn't about comments on the CBC, just on my apparent compulsive need to read things I know will be dumb. (See: AskMen.) I was reading an article on Time Magazine's website (the one I linked on Facebook, in fact), and decided to scroll down to the comments, apparently not remembering that it was about gender and equality of women in a traditionally male field, a sure way to find the misogynists on the internet.

So, it's about math and gender equality within math. Realistically, there doesn't seem to be an actual difference between girls and boys in terms of ability, except very slight at the very top 1%. That's also easily explained by the fact that while average intelligence in men and women is about the same, men have more outliers - that is, more extremely low IQs and more extremely high IQs - than women, who are concentrated more towards the middle of the bell curve.

The comments though! Oh, my goodness, the comments. Why do I read them?

I was taught to be smart and that who I am is my mind and my actions. American girls are just encouraged to be pretty all the time. [...] Also, the only smart blonde (who didn't go around insisting blondes have more fun) in high school was a Russian immigrant who did better than me in chemistry. It is entirely culture. Russian women that i have seen will never lift something heavy when a man is around, but they don't think math will drive men away or that they must be humble about it.

This actually made me laugh, but still... I don't think it's entirely fair to say that's all American girls are encouraged to be. I don't live in America, though, but I know it wasn't true of me (although it's hard to encourage someone who isn't pretty to be that way. Olol. /selfhate).

So to make men and women equal in math (or at least geometric puzzles), all we need to do is belittle men's abilities? That seems rather harsh.

NO, you idiot who has poor reading comprehension, in order to make men and women equal is to give them equal education and not women four years (on average) less. I'm sure if men in the village had four years less they would perform at the same level as the uneducated women in the other village.

what data is there to say that 4 years of extra education equates to 36% faster problem solving?
- Apparently there's this study.

Second indent is someone's reply to the first point.

[...] human females have a brain size on average something like roughly 5-10% smaller than a male. This has been equated to around 5 points on the conventional IQ scales. [...] So I am very sorry girls but assuming the above is even partially true you are never going to demonstrate 100% intellectual equality between men and women!

Oh, what's that? This has been proven as a fallacy?

"The average male/female difference in brain weight for all ages is 9.8%. When charted as a function of either height or weight, however, the difference in adults virtually disappeared." This from a study of over four thousand subjects. [...] What matters is the complexity of the cortex. If overall size was all that mattered, elephants would have a considerable intellect. (Note: as this site cites sources (wow, that is a mouthful), it would be considered valid for use in a paper, which is good enough for my blog.)

Someone replied to that comment, basically saying what I said above. This person really, really wants to believe men are smarter than women, because he continues on to say:

I wouldn't so bluntly state that brain size as a denominator/indicator of IQ has been debunked: it is one of the major factors in the ancestoral evolution of homo' looked at by anthropologists. At the very least betwen species (emphasis mine, spelling his) it is a very major issue and indicator of hominid intelligence. [...] The only issue of debate we have is whether or not the positive correlation of intelligence with brain size between species translates to similar differences in within our species between females and males.
In the absense of significant evidence to the contary I must reasonably and strongly argue that they do!

Well, based on his spelling and his ability to google (seriously, the paper I linked above about how brain weight compared to body mass makes any difference negligible took seconds to find), I'm going to make the assumption that his brain is approximately 70% the mass of mine, as I am demonstrably better at spelling and using basic tools.

And, well, I have to say I am always so irritated when I read things like this. My mother, a very smart lady who likes to tell everyone that one of her professors at UBC told her she had to settle for men who weren't as smart because she'll be smarter than at least 90% of them, likes to tell me I scare men off by acting too smart. (Yes, my mother is always full of great dating advice like that.) So I guess I was kind of raised with the idea that men are afraid of intelligent women, and that as such I should act kind of stupid.

Which has never sat well with me, I admit. If someone doesn't like me initially because I can calculate the tip amount in my head (omg, so hard to calculate 20% of a bill?), then he won't like me further on down the line when I suddenly start being able to do simple math in my head. I've never been good at the flattering/flirting thing, either, so maybe that's more of a problem than not being able to act less smart. (Giggling, though, not a problem. It's my default laugh and I hate it.)

And now I read an article which claims that playing head games is really what men like. Quote:

Remember when we were told to stop playing games and just be ourselves? Scratch that. It's now all about how to act the part of the bad girl to snatch the guy. [...] what she found is that being a toying, mysterious woman is what men want and what men will commit to.

Well, damn! The reasons I will die alone just keep adding up.

5 ways to tell if you're a terrible person

2011-10-02T14:37:00.000-07:00

I really don't know why I do it. I guess it was boredom brought on by studying for two midterms next week (yay macroeconomics and statistics?), but I mosied on over to the AskMen website again to see what I could learn about men today. (Since all this advice applies to all men, right?)

So today's wonderful piece of advice involves bad sex. (Bad Sex is just the title of the article, so... there you go?) I had to share this wonderful piece of writing with someone, and so Kelsey and I had this conversation:

K says:
" ...like Whoopi Goldberg. Not that you would tell her that. Unless you possess a heart of stone like Simon Cowell, you’d feel pretty bad watching your girlfriend suffer a Bridget Jones-style..."
It's like they had a contest for "how many famous people can you throw into a paragraph and make it work"
Tania says:
Hehe
But the advice
Oh my god, really?
Tell her she's fat! Watch more porn and make sure she sees!
Yes, the thing I want to do MOST when I'm feeling fat is get naked and into positions that might highlight the fat.
K says:
The Rule 2 part is so messed up. Like, deep down, it's pretty good advice. "Open the lines of communication and politely let her know some things you would particulalry like in bed," but it's written in such a way as to seem like she'll never listen to you because hse's awoman, but she loves to talk to take advantage of that
Tania says:
Yeah
I mean, if you haven't been talking for the entire time you're together, well...
K says:
"At this point, she’ll be vulnerable, easy to manipulate and more susceptible to your lies. "
Tania says:
How the hell do you expect her to know what you like?
K says:
very healthy relationship
Tania says:
Yup
It's like
People aren't psychic
You can't expect a woman to know you like XYZ during sexytimes unless you tell her.
So... instead of doing this douchebag passive-aggressive bullshit, tell her what you want.

Look! Two women (real ones! With boobs and everything!) who think you should tell us if we're doing something wrong. Amazing. It's like... it's almost like women are real people.

So, the list (in case you don't want to actually read it).

Rule No. 1: Fake an illness

Yes. Pretending to be sick is the very best way to have better sex.

Rule No. 2: Be cunning

Obviously, this isn't quite descriptive enough. So the full quote:

We’ve already established that you can’t just tell the missus how bad she is in the sack. But a little scheming can go a long way. Ask her if there’s anything in particular she’d like you to do when getting intimate. Not only does it make your girlfriend feel special, but it also gives you an excuse to tell her exactly what you want. Women love to talk, so use this to your advantage.

You... need an excuse?

Rule No. 3: Don’t hide your porn stash

The idea is to make her wonder why you need porn. Best sentence: At this point, she’ll be vulnerable, easy to manipulate and more susceptible to your lies. What every healthy relationship needs! Manipulation and lies.

Rule No. 4: Sign her up for Pole-dancing lessons (capitalization their own.)

While you’re thinking about sex every 10 seconds, she’s worrying about her weight, makeup, hair, nails, foundation, fake tan, etc. Yes. All the time. Sometimes I can't sleep because I'm worried my fake tan is uneven or that sleeping will make my hair messy. It's rough being a woman, we're such shallow bitches all the time...

And the best one?

Rule No. 5: Tell her she's fat.

Sometimes you just have to be cruel to be kind, and getting her to sexually gratify you is one of those moments. Buying clothes that are a size too small for her is a particularly effective way to deliver your message. After she’s finished moaning, a casual comment along the lines of “oh, I thought you were a size X” will have her convinced she’s piling on the pounds. If all goes to plan, she’ll put more effort into her fitness regime and sexual exploits to burn off those extra calories.

Really. Really? REALLY?! Like I said above: feeling unattractive is the least sexy feeling (after being sick, I guess). And it's really terrible, awful behaviour to make someone you profess to care about feel so bad about themselves.

I think that's what gets to me most about this site: the idea that women aren't really PEOPLE. You can't talk to them like they're people, or treat them like they're people. They need to be handled, or trained, like you would a pet. Groomed into the ideal female.

And that's pretty terrible. The first problem is the idea that someone can be perfect. They can't. Everyone has faults. Everyone has something that makes them amazing, and everyone has something that makes them a terrible person. In the same person. Even women! If you're dumb enough to think someone can be perfect, you're going to be alone forever, because no one will ever stand up to your shining standard of unrealistic expectations.

The other problem? Being emotionally manipulative. If you do that, you're a terrible person.

On the plus side? There is one Top 10 article about "Subtle ways to tell her she's getting fat," and 85% of the "first impressions" option is "furious."

Are YOU a judgmental jerk?

2011-10-01T23:27:00.000-07:00

I think I've posted about my intense dislike of the website AskMen. It's absolutely the most ridiculous site for "bros." The kind of guys who say things like "bros before hos" who then chest-bump unironically and have those hideous jawline skating beards that are like a neon sign saying DOUCHEBAG.

I mean, I think one of the worst things I've ever read was their "Top 10" thing called "Top 10: Signs you're too good for her." No.9: She f*cks like a porn star. And I quote:

No limits or boundaries in the intimate sphere means serious problems with self-respect and control in general. Sure the sex will be mind-blowing, but you’ll never know where she’s been or even how she learned her maneuvers, which can only mean one thing...

Yeah... So pretty much it's terrible, terrible men writing terrible, terrible things for other terrible, terrible men.

Aaaanyway. The have another piece of BRILLIANT writing called "Top 10: Signs she'll be a bad mother." (Because obviously the men who read this site that have videos on how to pick up women are just wanting advice on finding a soul mate. A virginal, terrible-in-bed soul mate, obviously, because if she's good in bed you're too good for her.)

The Gloss responded by making their own list: "Signs he's a judgmental douchebag."

Ha.

But seriously. AskMen is awful. They have a top 10 "Apps for girls" that basically attempts to shame any man who uses a GPS. The link is literally "emasculating apps."

Ooooh no, I should not go on this site like ever. Top 10: Is she hot? Horrible.

Let's say you've been on a cool streak and all of a sudden this cute girl is really into you. You really want the companionship and the sex. You convince yourself that she's hot because, hey, you always date hot girls.

You "convince yourself she's hot." What? Because it's really important whether OTHER people think the person YOU are sleeping with is hot?

No.5 Make Her Cry
Here the method is really up to you, but we suggest a psychological approach rather than physical, the latter being both illegal and downright mean. Really, a laugh-until-you-cry method is ideal. Honestly, making a girl cry is in poor taste. But hot girls will still be hot when they cry.

What the hell. Seriously. I'm trying to convince myself this is parody, because that is horrible, but some of the other points leave me wondering. Please be parody! Oh, please.

I know a lot of those are pretty old, but whatever. Funny never gets old.

Shameless product placement

2011-09-30T11:22:00.000-07:00

I recently found this hair cream that is amazing and actually helps defrizz my hair (which is a feat and a half sometimes). It's this Dove "nourishing oil care".

I totally would not use this if you have hair that is thin or straight, because it will just weigh it down and make it look greasy. If you never need product, this is not for you! (And I kind of hate you because do you KNOW how much I spend on required defrizzers?)

But look! It's actually smooth! (Photo taken last night. No makeup because I was home with a migraine all day, and the hair stood the test of sleep but I don't want to bother taking more pictures.)


Crooked, twelve-year-old glasses that I am too cheap to replace.

Yay for effective hair product!

Just sharing some things I've been reading today

2011-09-29T15:58:00.000-07:00

More from The Gloss, yes. I just really like this lady's articles! Bullish Life: 3 Romantic Mistakes That Young Women Make That Cause Weeping Among The Angels And Kittens.

I think she makes from very valid points.

[...] the point I want to make is just that you can’t assume that any two people automatically mean the same thing by “love,” “marriage,” “commitment,” or any other warm-and-fuzzy words.

True! Different words evoke different things. Like the word "moist." It's just as true for those as it would be for moist!

I was once on a date with a guy who said, “The reason I like you is that you’re the only woman I know who’s logical.”
Oh no, I thought. You are a terrible misogynist who has just insulted more than half of my friends and role models. I think that you are ragingly arrogant and that what you mean is, I like you because you are agreeing with me right now.
I sighed, and said, “Why do you think all other women are illogical?”
“Well, for instance,” he said, “how come every time you sleep with one, she assumes you’re in love with her?”
I sighed. Deeply. “Well, you’re a human being. Are you ever in a situation where you kind of assume the best, because the worst is too horrible to think about?”
“Sure,” he said, not apparently seeing the connection.
Silence.
“Oh.”

Snap! Yeah, I totally like her dry humour and common sense, which aren't necessarily things you get in advice articles. I mean, could you imagine a similar article in Cosmo? They'd probably tell you to eat a doughnut off his penis or something to keep him interested.

There’s no master plan, no deus ex machina to tie up the loose ends, no poetic justice to make your pain meaningful.

So much the above! I would also add "bad things happen to good people."

Unrelated to that, the new DC comics have apparently been causing a bit of outrage among fans, male and female alike, for their ridiculous amounts of pandering. This post pretty much sums it up, as far as I can tell. I'm not a comic book reader, but I did watch those superhero cartoons when I was little (my older brother was bigger and had control of the remote), and I admit I'd always thought Batman and Catwoman should get together, I didn't think it would ever end up in softcore pornville anywhere official. SURPRISE.

Why is all my junk male about Viagra and male enhancement pills?

2011-09-28T13:20:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the subject lines of junk mail make me laugh:

I think it's trying to imply erections make you sleep better? I confess to not having a penis (shocking, I know), but that's not how I've ever understood it to work. Aren't they kind of distracting?

If not, well, those of you who are male and have trouble sleeping, I'll forward it on!

You know you're already my obsession - Stop using Sex As A Weapon

2011-09-28T12:43:00.000-07:00

(Post title only vaguely related!)

I know you shouldn't read comments on anything on the internet, but sometimes I just can't help myself.

I sometimes read the Daily Mail somewhat offensively named "Femail" tab. I say sometimes because it's mostly celebrities and I don't give a good goddamn about celebrities' lives. But occasionally it has something amusing, like this article about how women apparently spend five hundred pounds on their appearance after a break-up. Because that's a sane and reasonable thing to do when your heart is broken and your self-image is crushed into dust, or something?

So I kind of lol'd, and thought that the only thing I'd invest in is a box of tissues, and scrolled down to the comments, and my goodness, why did I do that? Don't I know better by now? Some of my favourites:

And quite right too...it's just a shame they realised too late that they should be making the effort.
Maybe if they spent £500 on their image BEFORE they got dumped then they wouldn't get dumped.

The only reason anyone would break up with you is because you got ugly. Yes.

"Errr I'm obviously NOT one of the women surveyed.....- Miss Scarlet, London, 28/9/2011 13:59" so when you get dumped you do nothing to change your image, i bet your single...women are so funny

It took me a moment to think of a reply to this, because I was busy cringing. You got dumped only because of how you looked, and you didn't change how you looked, so you're obviously still single!

good girls do not get dumped lol

Yeah, only WHORES get dumped. I'm sorry, any girl who's been dumped before. You're probably either a whore or a terrible person. Obviously, it could never be because the guy has issues. No, it's because you weren't a "good girl."

I can't believe there are still people out there who think that way. Thinking that how a woman looks is the ONLY make-or-break part of a relationship, as implied by saying that they might not have been dumped if they'd changed their appearance beforehand. You can't say "maybe they meant as part of it," because, well, no. If you think a change in appearance will stop someone from getting dumped, then you think that appearance is all of it. No one's going to say "well, you're a crazy lying bitch who's cheating on me, but DAMN, girl, you just got HOT."

Okay, well, maybe there are some men, but no one sane.

Or the guy who says "good girls do not get dumped." Does he justify every relationship he's ended with "well, she was a whore!" And I know there are guys out there who think a woman's default setting is a crazy, manipulative money grubber who only uses sex as a weapon, so it's not a stretch to be wondering if this guy is one.

PAT BENATAR IS RELEVANT.

On the plus side, there are some comments that I liked:

I have been dumped 30 times. That is why I am poor.
My God, who ARE these men so in love with themselves? It's laughable that the men commenting actually think they're some prize that women should be grateful for! LOL!
Because society dictates that we are worthless without a man and when the relationship breaks down we always take the blame for it, 'we' couldn't keep him, 'we' couldn't satisfy him etc , have you heard these the other way around ? Never.
Where do you get this utter drivel from? You really shouldn't be making things up like this just to fill columns.

But yeah, those are pretty self-explanatory for why I like them.

So yeah, basically it's ridiculous to say a woman's appearance will make or break a relationship, because if that were true then all women who've ever been dumped would be considered ugly, and I'm sure we all hope it wasn't our appearance that caused someone not to love us. Because seriously, ouch.

Although I guess it's not that much nicer a feeling thinking it was something about your personality that made them dump you, is it? You can't really win either way, I guess! Even with a new haircut and a manicure, you're still going to have the same face. And personalities are pretty much solid, beyond learning to pick your socks up if you're someone who can't seem to use your laundry hamper (I admit to being guilty of this. I just hate folding laundry so my clean clothes sit in the hamper while the dirty ones get placed beside it. >.< I'm working on it!).

So I guess my point is being dumped will always suck, and if there are women for whom getting all those things done is a comfort, then if they can afford it, there's no reason for them not to do it. But saying the "average woman" does all those things is ridiculous, because I don't know anyone who's done more than cry a lot and start wearing sexier clothes.

Overestimation of myself, based on every praise/ Gave me complacence to be smug and to laze

2011-09-27T15:57:00.000-07:00

DO YOU THINK I'M GORGEOUS/HOT/HAVE AN AMAZING FIGURE? Y/Y

Just kidding! No, for real, compliments make me feel awkward. Which is now going to be what this post is about!

I have always been pretty weird about compliments. When someone compliments my work, or something I drew, I don't really know what to say. Most of the time I think whatever I did was pretty bad, so my first instinct is to argue. But that's not how you're supposed to react to someone being nice. You're supposed to say "thank you" and then move on.

When someone compliments my looks? My first instinct is to assume they're lying. And that's a terrible thing, isn't it? Just to automatically think someone's saying something nice for some ulterior motive? I find it extremely difficult to believe anyone who says nice things.

I think maybe this is connected to my post about how "pretty" is the go-to compliment. If you say everyone is pretty, even people who aren't that pretty, there's no reason for me to believe that you actually think I'm pretty. And since I don't think I'm pretty, I just assume you're being the socially-acceptable version of nice, and saying what you think I want to hear.

I suppose, however, that this isn't always true. There have been people I've wanted compliments from, and people I've enjoyed getting compliments from. But it's never been from "people in general."

If you want my body, and you think I'm sexy, come on, sugar, let me know

2011-09-26T22:33:00.001-07:00

Someone on my Facebook posted one of those (annoying) chains as her status:

I'm not hot or gorgeous. I don't have an amazing figure or a flat stomach. I'm far from being considered a model, but I'm ME. I eat food, have curves, love my PJ's, and I go without make up. I'm random and crazy, I don't pretend to be someone I'm not. I am who I am, You can love me or not, I won't change!!! And if I love you, I do it with all my heart. Ladies put this on your status if your proud of who You are !

I'm all for self love (I'm not talking about THAT kind, so don't even go there! I know at least one person was thinking it. That's a separate thing entirely!), but this seems so silly to me.

Everything after and including "Love my PJ's" I am totally down with. I am wearing my PJs with now, in fact! I object to the beginning.

Some people are hot or gorgeous. They're still a ME. Some people have amazing figures or flat stomachs. They're still a ME. Models are still a ME. I'm sure there are people who are all of the above who are often random and crazy, even if it is only from food deprivation.

And that's the biggest issue I have with the entire "love ourselves for who we are" thing - so many people who say "I'm big and I'm beautiful, and not some stick insect who never eats." And it is a lot of people. You see it on any of those female-oriented websites. No one sane things not eating is healthy - anorexia and bulimia are diseases that kills people, and there is absolutely no denying that. But by the same token, over-eating is also grossly unhealthy, and leads to diseases that kill people.

See, implying that everyone who's slender doesn't eat is as egregious an error as implying that everyone above a certain weight never stops eating. If you're above that magical threshold of "overweight" (and this threshold differs depending on personal taste), you'd be grossly offended and probably hurt if someone said "god, do you ever stop eating?" So I don't understand why these same women would turn around and say to someone else "god, do you ever eat?"

If you are so insecure that you feel the need to talk about how disgusting thin women are, then you probably aren't living the "I'm big and I'm beautiful" life. People who are confident in themselves don't need to bring other people down.

That's the biggest sign of insecurity, really, the most obvious: talking down about other people for no reason.

Which is something I hate. If you have a reason for complaining about something, then you know what, go for it. If you find out someone is backstabby and isn't a rogue in World of Warcraft, complain as much as you want! Just don't go around hating on people for such stupid things as their weight, or if you think they're prettier, or smarter, or whatever.

I know it sounds like I'm hating on overweight people lately, I'm really not. I don't really have much respect for people who eat terribly and are lazy, I definitely admit that, but that goes for thin people who eat that way and complain about having no energy, too. Actions have consequences, good and bad, and if you can't put in the effort to AT LEAST change your diet, even if you don't want to move more, then, well... I probably do hate you, but not because you're fat, but because you're kind of a wimp.

Oh, and as for the beginning of it where it says "I'm not hot or gorgeous..." Could that be any more of an attempt to get compliments? You know there will be at least one person who is going to say "LIES! You're totally hot and gorgeous!" And you know, fair enough, most people like compliments, but goodness. Try to be subtle about it.

It's like if I made a blog post that said nothing but DO YOU THINK I'M GORGEOUS/HOT/HAVE AN AMAZING FIGURE? Y/Y. (Flat stomach would not be included because I don't think it would be flat even if I starved myself.)

Coming up next on tomorrow's blog post: nothing but the question DO YOU THINK I'M GORGEOUS/HOT/HAVE AN AMAZING FIGURE? Y/Y

May you live in interesting times

2011-09-26T14:20:00.000-07:00

It has been an exciting couple of weeks at work.

Just over a week ago, we were robbed. Our assistant manager was working alone, because the manager had gone out of the office for a little while to take care of some things at head office. A man came in around 2 o'clock in the afternoon with a baseball hat and a bandana around his face and pulled out a knife and demanded the money. We were the second of (so far) three hotel robberies within that week. I'm not sure how I feel about being alone in the front office right now, but it's something that can happen anywhere you work, you know? So there's no point in being paranoid about it.

I came in today and the assistant manager (who was unhurt from the robbery, just shaken up) said he wanted to catch me up on the issue from Saturday, and I was like "Oh no, what now!" because I hadn't worked since Friday. There had been a fire in one of our kitchenette rooms! The entire wing of rooms is shut down because of smoke damage. Thankfully it happened now, and not in the middle of summer, but it has meant that we had to move people out of an entire wing while the fire was burning, compensate a bunch of people for the inconvenience, etc.

One of our hugely demanding customers (who insisted I cone off some parking spots for her "beside the building," but wouldn't tell me which building. We're a motel, we have a few separate buildings. She just kept telling me "THE BUILDING" because I am psychic and should know which one she meant) accidentally had some boxes for her business shipped here instead of to her home, and told us we need to call the shipping company to fix it. Um, wtf. So I had to call the company, and they told me they need her account number or they can't do anything. We told her this, and she told us to tell them to bill it to her company. Again, wtf. It's so much more work for her to keep insisting we deal with it than it would be for her to deal with it. I don't understand.

One of the whale watching tours sent in a couple of their guys to talk about their company. They were selling it pretty hard, but they were charming, so it was fine. The big thing they insisted on was that they offer free tours to hotel staff, but we're treated as paid guests instead of placed on stand-by based on availability, which is what most whale watching tours do. And this company is the highest rated on Trip Advisor, and considering the two gentlemen I just met from them, I can understand why! I would definitely book with them.

Who wants to come whale watching with me!

Sounds all right to me

2011-09-25T11:45:00.000-07:00

The Canadian Fertility and Andrology Society is considering refusing to offer fertility treatments to women above a certain BMI. The debate was yesterday, but I seem to be unable to find the actual decision because they site is somewhat poorly designed.

No, it's not because Canada hates fat people (I don't think), but because there are so many more increased health risks for both mother and child in women who have a BMI above 35.

So for me, this makes sense. I understand wanting a baby, but when you're risking both your health and that of the child both during and after pregnancy, then shouldn't you want to know you're minimizing the risks? Yes, it's a lot of work to go from a BMI of 35 or more to something healthier, but if you want a baby badly enough to seek fertility treatment, shouldn't you want it badly enough to give it a better chance at a quality life? Maybe it will take a couple of years of your life, but it will give your child's entire life.

My experience with doctors at just regular clinics is they're decent people who genuinely want to see you healthy. I can imagine a fertility clinic doctor is in the field because they want to see people have happy, healthy babies. I would be very surprised if they decided to not give the treatments to these overweight women and just said "Come back when you've lost 100lbs." It's more likely they'd have a list of doctors who'd be able to give appropriate diet and exercise regimens for a healthy weight loss program, just like my clinic doctor recommended to me a gastrointestinal specialist when I was having those stomach problems.

And wouldn't it be worth it in the long run? Not just because you now have that baby you wanted, but because you'll have more energy, have less trouble finding nice clothes that fit (which seems to be a big (no pun intended) complain larger women have), a longer life, and better health?

I freely admit I don't exercise as much as I should. I haven't found a cardio routine that I enjoy enough to be able to motivate myself into doing often. I convince myself to go jogging about once a week, but since my MP3 player died that's become even more difficult. But I also, for the most part, eat well, and the number of stairs and hills on campus means that even in a normal day I get about 20 minutes of running up and down those.

I think I had a point to that last paragraph, but I've forgotten it. Oh, well.

I'll settle for one day to believe in you

2011-09-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

Growing up, my mother only really had one thing that would make her absolutely furious: lying. Nothing was guaranteed to turn her into a ball of parental rage as much as telling an untruth. This resulted in two things: one, I very, very rarely lie about anything, and two, when I do, I'm really really good at it. I know the latter isn't anything to brag about, but since it happens so rarely that I ever feel something is worth lying about, it's not something I feel is a huge character flaw. If I ended up being a compulsive liar, it would be a terrible thing, but I'm more of a compulsive truth-teller. To the point of overshare sometimes, I will be the first to admit.

But that was Mom's thing. She felt that if we were asking a question, we deserved to hear the answer. This meant, of course, that asking about Santa Claus at a young age meant we learned she was Santa Claus at a young age. Where babies came from? Turns out I didn't want to know at eight years old. (Fun fact: I always thought you got pregnant from kissing and babies came out of your bellybutton, and that's what bellybuttons were for.)

The whole thing stuck with me, though. If someone asks me a question, I will answer it as truthfully as I can, although the answer might be tailored for my audience. I've never had much dignity, so I'm never worried about losing it when I answer something honestly.

I also rarely ask questions if I don't want to know the answers. I don't want to hear things that might make me angry, or sad. There are situations where I'll ask even expecting a negative answer, but those are cases where not knowing is as bad, or worse, than the negative answer would be, and those are pretty rare.

I've found, though, that it makes me all that much more sensitive when I catch someone else in a falsehood. The aforementioned dilemma about the lying/misleading friend, for example. I've found myself questioning everything single thing they've ever said about the subject in question, and actually found even more examples of it. I didn't end up not talking to them ever, but I do just automatically assume 90% of what they say is a lie. Which I think is a terrible thing. It's kind of a bad feeling when you're having a conversation with someone and thinking "did you mean that nice thing you said about person/thing, or are you lying to make yourself sound like a better person? Or that bad thing, to make them/it sound worse?"

And I really do value honesty. If I'm being boring, or offensive, or look bad (if that dress makes me look fat, or those jeans make my butt look big/flat (serious question, I bought those without someone to tell me whether they look good - I just wanted jeans that would fit inside boots!)), I want to hear it. And if you have any really burning questions to ask that you don't really feel you should ask because you're worried I might be offended, don't be worried! I probably won't be offended unless you're asking something like "how'd you get so ugly!" because we all love gossip. I can't imagine there are any, because I'm pretty dull, but whatever. Heh.

I guess what it comes down to is I like truthiness.

2011-09-22T22:48:00.000-07:00

The background to this is that when he's said "hot pic," I've changed it pretty much immediately after because I'm weird about compliments (it's kind of messed up, but there you go):

It's really hard to recognize sarcasm? (PS, Sara, you might remember this guy. Hehe.)

So I log onto WoW where he is a real ID friend, and he says:

Fff, like I'll racechange for this?

I'm still kind of confused by his current MSN pic. It's not the one where he was (probably) naked with his leg propped up and the camera showing everything about anything NSFW, but it still just makes me go :/.

I guess it proves something I read somewhere: sexy pics are much sexier when you actually want them.

This only wasted half an hour. Oh, dear

2011-09-22T15:14:00.000-07:00

I have three hours to spend until my next class. On the one hand, it's great because it gives me the opportunity to catch up if I'm behind. On the other hand, if I'm not behind I... write blog posts? As if this will take me three hours.
So my law class today. I mentioned before that the teacher is very new to teaching. We are, in fact, his first class. As a result, he's still getting into the groove, learning to pace things, how to engage the class, how to project his voice loud enough so that the class knows we're in CLASS MODE... he's still struggling on the last one, and apparently enough people in the class are young enough that they take "new teacher" to mean "excuse to stop paying attention and chat every time he hands something out."
Which is irritating to all hell. I mean seriously, people, grow up, you're technically adults now, and this shit would not go down well in any business you work in. And guys, you're paying for this course, don't you want your money's worth? I sure as hell do, and I can't hear him when you're bitching about how your boyfriend would rather play CoD or whatever than sleep with you. Okay? Thanks.

I admit I like to draw in class while taking notes, but it really does help me focus. Otherwise I zone out completely.

Exhibit A. Law class notes. Sort of.

And law is relatively interesting. He does just write things on the board and expect us to copy it down. We discuss things like whether or not a trespasser can sue you for assault if you smack him around a bit while he's on your property.
And today I found about about this site called The Dirty. Aaand it's pretty horrifying. I'm actually afraid to look at it in case I see my sister. Fun times.

Speaking of class (since I'm at school, I might as well), last night I had my accounting class. The teacher is an older guy, sixties at least, and he has the most hoser accent I have ever heard that wasn't from Bob and Doug McKenzie.

Anyway, we were covering accounting for when a partner leaves a firm, how to get rid of their capital account (basically their share in the partnership), and he said "There's one hooker here who'll jump up and bite you though." And it took everything in my power not to start laughing. It did not help that the girl next to me was trying not to, as well. And no one else in the class seems to have registered.

Are hookers really common when a partner leaves a firm? I mean, all the accounting stereotypes are of socially awkward nerds. Apparently, there is way more sex than they want you to know. I guess if too many accountants start showing up, they'll have to share the hookers.

Not related to school (since, like I said, I'm trying to pass the time and I'm using this, so forgive me if it's OMG SO LONG because I don't care, that's why!), I was discussing with someone whether people can be perfect or not.

For me, I don't think people can be perfect as in "lacking flaws." If I were to describe anyone as being "perfect," that wouldn't be what I'd mean. I would mean, hmm, analogy: say you've got this dress. Maybe the fabric is a little cheaper than you'd like, maybe some of the embellishments aren't entirely what you usually go for, but when you wear it, it's perfect. It fits great, it's comfortable, it's flattering to all the things you want to show off and hides the things you don't want to show off. So maybe you don't like the lace around the collar. If you removed the lace, the dress wouldn't have the character that makes it so great.

I like to think we choose our friends and significant others in a similar (but personality-related) way. You might not like that they're sometimes irresponsible (or whatever, that was a relatively innocent flaw someone might have so it's what I chose), but they bring out the best in you and if you changed them they wouldn't be who they were.

And I've never got the idea of people who feel the need to change someone. If that part of them is so bad you can't put up with it, then maybe they're not for you. I'm not talking about things like someone leaving their socks on the floor when it drives you crazy, because that's just a force of habit thing. I'm talking about personality flaws. Once we reach a certain age, those are pretty darn solid parts of who we are.

2011-09-21T14:26:00.000-07:00

Remember that creepy Twitter account I posted about, the one belonging to the sixteen year old who married the fifty one year old? Aw, heck, let me remind you!

The one about the sucker just makes me think about choking hazards. Don't bounce with food in your mouth!

And here, have an interview of the two of them, why not.

She looks like she has some sort of facial tic where she just can't help but make "sexual" expressions. I am just so weirded out by her making smoochy faces and licking her lips while he's trying to be all reasonable and saying "people will say what they want, we know how it is." It's just so inappropriate for the topic, you know?

Somehow, she managed to get a reality show. Well, she and her husband.

And it makes me vaguely depressed. I mean, really? So now anyone who goes out and attention whores can just get a reality TV show? Or does it take looking forty at 16 and marrying a man older than your parents? Writing tweets and making faces that make it look like "everything I know about sex, I learned from bad porn movies?"

Or does that lip pursing/licking thing actually look hot to guys? I admit, it is not behaviour I've ever engaged in. And no one's offered me a reality TV show. Hmm.

I just don't know.

2011-09-20T23:51:00.000-07:00

Have you ever had a course required for the degree you're taking that seems utterly useless in every possible way? Not interesting, not learning anything you'll actually use...

One of my courses, business information systems, is one of those. In fact, on the first day the teacher said straight-up that we won't use 90% of what we have to cover in the course, and he's sorry, but he'll try to make it as interesting as he can since it's a prerequisite for anyone wanting to continue in Management Information Systems, and required for anyone taking a business admin degree.

The teacher himself admitted the course is almost entirely useless. But I can't get my diploma without it. What the hell. Worst class ever.

I haven't been sleeping well lately, and it sucks. Trying to get up for an 8:30 class is so hard when you've woken up a bajillion times during the night and had trouble falling asleep in the first place. I don't know why this is. I want my sleep back. :,(

I like to use my blog to rant about things

2011-09-19T14:47:00.000-07:00

Something that irritates me and that I come across relatively often on the internet is how the word "curvy" has been hijacked by, well, larger women.

The definition of "curve" is just this:

curve (kûrv)n
a. A line that deviates from straightness in a smooth, continuous fashion.
c. Something characterized by such a line or surface, especially a rounded line or contour of the human body.

So, yes, I'm not denying it's an accurate descriptor, and it definitely sounds nicer to say you're "curvy" than to say you're "kind of chunky/fat/overweight/whatever," so that isn't what bothers me.

What bothers me is when people insist that thinner women can't be curvy. Like this picture here:

Can't deny the LeAnn Rimes caption, though.

Megan Fox isn't a large woman, there is no denying that. But she is also definitely not straight up-and-down, therefore, she meets the definition of "curvy," in that she "has curves."

The irritating implication of this, to me, is that everyone less than a certain size is necessarily boyish figured. I actually once had someone accuse me of having boyish hips (on the internet, of course), which I found pretty hysterical. I'm no Christina Hendricks, but seriously:

Do I look like a boy? (Excuse the tights, they are comfy and I don't have anywhere to be today.)

So to me, it's quite annoying that if I ever decided to start describing myself as curvy (as in, has curves), people would automatically assume it to mean I am overweight, when it's really not just a descriptor for that.

Unrelated to my annoyance at "curvy" used to only mean "fat" now, it turns out I am waaay more manipulative than I ever knew:

This would be, of course, the person who I reported in a ticket in my previous posts.

And this is what irritates me so much. The assumption that everything I did had some sort of ulterior motive. And you know what, I don't. If I say something, you can be 95% certain I mean it (the other 5% is things like white lies and things said to avoid hurt feelings or awkwardness, or jokes that the other person (hopefully!) knows are jokes). I am not good at manipulation, or lying, or hiding anything, or even flattery for the sake of flirting. It always comes out eventually.

If I said it, I probably meant it.

FILLER POST

2011-09-19T13:10:00.000-07:00

I think I ate a box of Curly-Os last night, because I woke up and my hair looked like this:

My shower door is hilariously reflective.

2011-09-18T19:33:00.000-07:00

It's quite difficult to take a picture of a store-front window in a mall without looking weird, but I had to. Every time I walk past this Calvin Klein underwear store in the mall, I can't help but notice how their hands are placed.

I know it's kind of blurry, but in case it isn't obvious - their hands are positioned as if they're right about to grab their mannequin-junk. Makes me laugh every time.

Oh, hey, this is post #400. I post a lot of junk.

2011-09-18T15:21:00.001-07:00

My coworker was asking me the other day what I plan to do once I finish school. And it made me think, yet again, about what I should do.

The program offered by Camosun College is a two-year diploma that segues into the four-year bachelor. With the diploma, you can work as an accounting technician or an auditor, entry-level accounting stuff. It's decent pay.

And I do know I definitely want to get myself the bachelor degree and get into the CA program, so that isn't the question.

The question is, where do I want to work? BC doesn't pay as high as other provinces do. The nice thing about accounting is that all companies in Canada will follow either GAAP ("generally accepted accounting principles") or IFRS ("International Financial Reporting Standards"), so I could go live in Nunavut if I wanted and would still be able to do my job (although no. No territories for me. Provinces only!). And I mean, OBVIOUSLY ever city in Canada is Vancouver's inferior, but that doesn't mean they'll be entirely awful (just not as good).

Learning more French than basic eighth-grade level would probably help me with this, and I have been looking into finding one of those crash courses in the language.

By the time I finish my diploma, I will also have my N license so will be able to drive without someone sitting next to me, another thing that makes it easier to do the whole "new city" thing. If I didn't, I would stay here because my sense of direction is awful. (No, seriously, I have zero ability to know my location in relation to other places. I've lived in the same place for a couple months now, and I still can only do a vague hand-wave in relation to it vs work locations. All those questions on IQ tests where they give you a 3D shape and ask you how it looks like rotated? Cannot do those. Aced calculus, struggled with physics. Only real difference? Physics involves space. I am functionally retarded in terms of spacial awareness. Never ask me for shortcuts, is what I'm saying.)

But yeah! I was talking about it with my brother (the most sane of my relatives (not that that's saying much)), and he agreed it made the most sense to graduate, apply everywhere, and hope I get an awesome, impossible-to-refuse job offer somewhere it won't suck intensely to live and go from there.

It's funny, though. Next summer I should be done (assuming I don't drop or fail any courses), and that's so soon. Between then and now are two semesters, a week in the Dominican Republic (hurray, Sara!), and, um, Christmas and Thanksgiving?

So yeah, ramblings I may have done before... I'm going to leave this with google images I found searching the name of the resort!

Look at the colour of the water! So pretty.

I am so excited! Totally can't believe none of you want to be my date. Hehe.